10 Kinds of Animals in A Conference Call
10 Kinds of Animals in A Conference Call
Don’t be surprised: animals have conference calls too! Just like with us humans, it’s not always possible for animals to make decisions by email, or to meet in person. And just like us, each animal has its own way of handling these calls. Here’s the ultimate guide for animals’ behavior in conference calls: in the jungle, out on the savanna, or in the middle of the Gobi Desert.
Don’t be surprised: animals have conference calls too! Just like with us humans, it’s not always possible for animals to make decisions by email, or to meet in person. And just like us, each animal has its own way of handling these calls. Here’s the ultimate guide for animals’ behavior in conference calls: in the jungle, out on the savanna, or in the middle of the Gobi Desert.
Koalas sleep 22 hours a day. They’re pretty much the sleepiest animal in the world. When they have a conference call, they'll do it while sleeping. It’s usually not a problem, unless they’re suddenly asked about the “Sleeping on trees” presentation they had to be done with a week before. Then they’ll wake up in a panic. And fall back asleep immediately after.
Bees
Bees are always busy. They have a lot to do, and time is always running out: there are flowers to check out, pollen to collect, and plants to pollinate. In human language, it’s called “shopping”, and why not do it during a conference call? If the bee is not the moderator, it’ll look for special deals on Ali Express, gift cards on Zappos, or coupons on Walmart. Anything goes.
Cheetahs
You don’t become nature’s fastest animal by sitting on your couch and watching Netflix. You must constantly run, stretch, and compete with other cheetahs. A conference call is a great opportunity for cheetahs to do all of this, and especially to walk on a treadmill, or strengthen their fingers with a stress ball. Highly athletic cheetahs will even jog at the park! No one would notice they suddenly breathe faster. Because they don’t
Cuckoos
As we all know, cuckoos lay their eggs in other birds’ nests. That’s exactly how they treat conference calls. While the discussion goes on, they’ll do a few more things in the background at the same time, or as we humans call it: “multitasking”. Cuckoos are good at it, and they’re often able get back right when they’re needed. But sometimes they disappear. Be patient: they’re probably in another room, catching a Pokémon. They’ll be right back.
Fish
Fish love conference calls. Sadly, there’s only one problem: when they talk, no one hears them. They’re on mute. How can you help them? If everyone is waiting for the fish to speak, but there’s nothing out there but silence, just let them know about it, politely. They might be able to find a dolphin or a whale to do the talking for them.
Gorillas
Gorillas are in fact very kind animals, despite their bad reputation as being too bossy. While there ARE some bossy gorillas that could potentially destroy New York (especially if they’re a Japanese mutant of a gorilla) most are shy and quiet. Except while on a conference call. When a gorilla gets on a conference call, it must make sure everyone knows who’s the boss. That's why it’ll talk 95% of the time and will completely take over the conversation. After all it’s a gorilla, and nobody messes with a gorilla.
shrew
Shrews are nature’s hungriest animals. Every day they eat three times their own weight. A conference call is no reason to stop. There’s always something to eat while it’s on: breakfast leftovers, a sandwich, Pad Thai, a pizza with pineapple and pepperoni or amuesli bar. When desperate they’ll feed on staples, or even a USB flash disk. We can all relate.
Dinosaurs
The last dinosaurs died approximately 65 million years ago, so it's not surprising that they can’t really handle technology. When a dinosaur gets on a conference call, something always goes wrong. They might not find the call’s code, start a separate call, or just get disconnected again and again. Don’t be mad at them. One day you’ll be extinct too.
Kakapo
Kakapo is a parrot from New Zealand, known as one of nature’s noisiest animals. Their mating call is made of strange deep sounds called "booming", and it can travel up to 4 miles. It’s very difficult to handle a conference call with a kakapo in it. They boom, interrupt other participants and generally make a lot of noise, even if they have nothing to say. We recommend you simply lower the volume on your own device, and help them find a mate
Cats
Cats live their lives on their own terms, regardless of anyone around them. And that’s true even if they’ve just got hired yesterday to do an entry level job at a 30,000-people company. You’re about to have a conference call with a cat? Be sure they’ll be late. And just when you start discussing the most crucial point, they’ll suddenly appear and won’t even apologize. Don’t bother talking to them about it. That’s what gorillas are for! Time to set up another call: only for the cat and the big monkey. Let’s see who’s going to be late.