10 Supernatural Creatures You've Probably Never Heard Of

If you were ever traumatized by reading “The Giving Tree” – a supposed children’s story about the lifelong abuse of a kind talking tree by its sociopathic owner – you might appreciate the Japanese myth of the Jubokku. These demonic trees grow up near areas where violently killed bodies have been buried without ceremony. Drinking in blood and violence through their roots, these sentient trees become bloodthirsty in every sense of the word. Jubokku can not only animate their own branches and roots – they learn to control the surrounding vegetation around them as they grow more powerful.

Speaking of horrible children’s stories, in 19th century England, parents used to warn their young offspring that if they didn’t stop sucking their thumbs, the Long Red Legged Scissorman would come looking for them. This tall, gaunt, bald psychopath with apparently horrible fashion sense would then cut off the child’s offending thumb with a large pair of scissors. Part of me is disturbed by the idea of any parent telling their child such a thing, and part of me wonders what the Long Red Legged Scissorman would think of people who text while driving.

The diminutive Pukwudgie are a mythical Native American tribe of small folk. I’ve heard that they ride trained rabbits and also read that they are between two and three feet tall. In any case, most of the Pukwudgie’s abilities are antisocial in nature; they can turn invisible for example, or sprout quills like a porcupine. They have also been known to push humans off cliffs, lure them into vast wilderness areas, or shoot them with arrows tipped with poison. This is totally irrational and an accident of consonance and differing languages, but I really want to like these creatures just because I love the word Pukwudgie.

As far as I know, there’s no consensus on what causes the creation of Funnel Ghosts. These North American spirits manifest as whirling masses that suck nearby objects into their orbit and violently toss them around. My own theory is that Funnel Ghosts are former caffeine addicts. It certainly sounds like me when I first get up in the morning, and I don’t what I’ll do if the afterlife doesn’t have coffee. In any case, funnel ghosts are usually human-sized phenomena that occur indoors, but having once lived in Tuscaloosa Alabama, I find the idea of a really powerful ghost tornado terrifying.

The Greek Talos were essentially ancient robots made of bronze or gold. In one story, the Talos was a giant humanoid; in another. Hephaestus gave King Minos a talos shaped like a bull. In both stories, the Talos ran on some kind of magical liquid – probably alcoholic based on their unfortunate tendency to get out of control -- and a Talos’ only vulnerable point was the fuel plug in its ankle. Come to think of it, Achilles was a warrior hidden by golden armor, and his only vulnerable point was his ankle. Incidentally, the military is now working on exo-suits called T.A.L.O.S. (Tactical Assault Light Operating System).

The Cherufe is a Chilean monster made out of burning lava and magma (as opposed to room temperature lava and magma) who crawls out of volcanoes and goes on rampages. I don’t know if the Cherufe act from malice or hunger – I imagine it’s very hard for them to get a good hug – but apparently tossing the occasional human sacrifice into their volcanoes will keep a Cherufe from spilling over into our world. (Author’s note – there has been some confusion due to an unfortunate homonym, but this may well be the origin of the expression “Giving a hot damn”).

Formless and invisible, the Malaysian A Bao A Qu dwells at the bottom of a tall mystical tower. When someone walks up the tower stairs, the A Bao A Qu follows them and begins to take physical form, growing tentacles and glowing with increasing brightness. No one ever reaches the top. Presented as a tale about the never ending quest for spiritual enlightenment, I could also see this being a metaphor about the nature of isolating ambition or obsession. Maybe that’s because I write about monsters, or because I’m cynical, or I just have a Western hang-up about tentacles and disappearing pilgrims.

From Inuit legend, an Akkiyyini is a skeletal being who can disconnect its own bones and use them for drumsticks. The vibrations caused by this drumming has epic and often harmful effects, resulting in things like earthquakes, tidal waves, and presumably severe tenitis. I’m no anthropologist, but reading between the lines, I can only assume that teenage drummers are the same in any culture, and the early Inuit didn’t have garage dwellings separate from their homes.

Arising at some point in the various interchanges between the Orkney Islands and Norse Vikings, the mythical Nuckalavee is a kind of skinless centaur who periodically emerges from oceans and wreaks havoc. The humanish head has one big red enflamed eye, lots of jagged teeth, and toxic breath. I’m guessing the rest of the Nuckalavee doesn’t smell too good either since the creature reputedly hates fresh water. Does that mean it could be chased off with a squirt gun? I have no idea. What is clear is that this creature may be the lifelong result of remarkably poor hygiene choices.

One of the more disturbing monsters out there – and I do mean out there – is the Japanese Shirime. This ghost is essentially indistinguishable from a human being, and no one would even suspect the Shirime’s supernatural origins if it weren’t for the monster’s unfortunate exhibitionistic tendencies. Apparently Shirime like to moon innocent pedestrians, and when they do so, these monsters reveal a big eye where their anus should be. I have to admit, the evolutionary advantage of this development eludes me. I’m also not sure if this monster is mischievous or hostile. Is the eye glaring or winking?

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