10 Automatic Swipe Rights That No One Likes To Talk About

Tinder habits you never tell your friends about.

Malcolm Raines
Created by Malcolm Raines
On Jul 20, 2017
1

The Right Face

You brag on Tumblr that you're all about #effyourbeautystandards, but a dude with a pretty face makes you swipe right every time!

2

The Right Bod

You've been praising the #dadbod to your Tweeps for months now, but you're a sucker for a profile that comes with two tickets to the gun show.

3

The Right Torso

Oh, and abs too! You like to act all high and might...wait. What were we saying?

4

The Right Pet

You talk about being a #dogperson in your About Me, but all a guy has to do is put a cat in his profile pic and you lose your damn mind! It doesn't even have to be a cute cat. Or a cute guy!

5

The Right Accessory

You've been Snapchatting all week about how you're looking for your #soulmate, but all a guy needs to do is put a guitar on his lap and your swiping finger goes berzerk. Simmer down, now! You don't even know if he can play.

6

The Right Clothes

You talk nice about #poppingtags. Not lying, though. You would swipe right on a shaved orangutan if he were wearing an expensive suit or designer threads.

7

The Right Line

Some guy puts a book quote on his About Me and you think he's deep. Literally, the only thing you've read in the last week in is the summer menu at Starbucks.

8

The Right Neighborhood

Ain't no river wide enough, ain't no mountain high enough, but you aren't about to cross a bridge or go through a tunnel just for a date. 5 miles or closer. Firm.

9

The Right Job

You might be #funemployed right now, but you can't resist a professional looking profile pic. You don't even know if he has a job. He might have stolen that suit from a mannequin.

10

The Right Shade

Your social media makes you look like you're #woke, but your swipe rights are all monochromatic. Broaden your horizons, babe! We're all the same color in the dark.