10 Automatic Swipe Rights That No One Likes To Talk About

Tinder habits you never tell your friends about.

Malcolm Raines
Created by Malcolm Raines
On Jul 20, 2017

The Right Face

You brag on Tumblr that you're all about #effyourbeautystandards, but a dude with a pretty face makes you swipe right every time!


The Right Bod

You've been praising the #dadbod to your Tweeps for months now, but you're a sucker for a profile that comes with two tickets to the gun show.


The Right Torso

Oh, and abs too! You like to act all high and might...wait. What were we saying?


The Right Pet

You talk about being a #dogperson in your About Me, but all a guy has to do is put a cat in his profile pic and you lose your damn mind! It doesn't even have to be a cute cat. Or a cute guy!


The Right Accessory

You've been Snapchatting all week about how you're looking for your #soulmate, but all a guy needs to do is put a guitar on his lap and your swiping finger goes berzerk. Simmer down, now! You don't even know if he can play.


The Right Clothes

You talk nice about #poppingtags. Not lying, though. You would swipe right on a shaved orangutan if he were wearing an expensive suit or designer threads.


The Right Line

Some guy puts a book quote on his About Me and you think he's deep. Literally, the only thing you've read in the last week in is the summer menu at Starbucks.


The Right Neighborhood

Ain't no river wide enough, ain't no mountain high enough, but you aren't about to cross a bridge or go through a tunnel just for a date. 5 miles or closer. Firm.


The Right Job

You might be #funemployed right now, but you can't resist a professional looking profile pic. You don't even know if he has a job. He might have stolen that suit from a mannequin.


The Right Shade

Your social media makes you look like you're #woke, but your swipe rights are all monochromatic. Broaden your horizons, babe! We're all the same color in the dark.