My Stomach And My Brain Had A War Via Text About Lunchtime
My Stomach And My Brain Had A War Via Text About Lunchtime
More shots fired in the never ending battle between head and belly.
More shots fired in the never ending battle between head and belly.
Brain
Lunch time is approaching. Nutrition is important. We should have something healthy, like a salad!
Stomach
Yeah, no.
Brain
Stomach, we've discussed this. It's important to have three balanced meals a day.
Stomach
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over my rumbling 'cause I'm so friggin' hungry for things I actually want.
Brain
Agreed. Food is essential. Green food! Good food!
Stomach
Listen, nerd - cool your organic-fueled jets or I'm gonna have to come up there.
Brain
And what? What are you gonna do, mid-section? Beat me up?
Stomach
No, but I'll start farting in the middle of your next big meeting.
Brain
You wouldn't.
Stomach
Yep.
Brain
Look, I'm just trying to do my job here. Our human needs food to function. GOOD food.
Stomach
I'm not disagreeing! I just want a pizza. Or a burrito. Or a Pizza-Burrito. Is that a thing? That should be a thing. Make that a thing for me, brain.
Brain
We literally have this conversation three times a day. If you have a pizza-burrito for lunch we'll feel gross for the rest of the day! You remember that time you wanted 18 bags of plain lays?
Stomach
Don't care.
Brain
Seriously? You're just being difficult now. You are the worst of the whole body to work with. Even Groin is better than you.
Groin
Excuse me?!
Stomach
Hahahaha brain, for such a smart dude you're such an idiot. This is a group text.
Brain
...... Groin, you've got to admit you can be rather difficult, too.
Stomach
Yeah dude, ever since Tinder showed up, you've been kind of out of control.
Groin
Sorry not sorry.
Brain
WE'RE HAVING A SALAD FOR LUNCH. OR WE'RE HAVING NOTHING AT ALL.
Stomach
Oh yeah?
Brain
YES. YES. I'M THE BOSS. I MAKE THE RULES.
Groin
Who said you were the boss?
Stomach
Yeah, seriously. Typing in all caps doesn't just make you le'honcho.
Brain
I JUST AM. NATURE DID. I'M THE BOSS. GET OVER IT.
Stomach
We could have a salad...burrito. That IS a thing.
Brain
What, from like Chipolte?
Stomach
Exactly!
Brain
Huh. Hold on, let me calculate the cost and driving distance......yeah. Yeah we could do that.
Stomach
Salad, Chicken, Rice, Beans, Sour cream, gucamole - it'll be great! Let's do this, Brain.
Brain
Yeah! Salad Burrito! Fantastic. We make quite the team sometimes, 'Mach.
Groin
How cute. I'll try not to get *too* excited.