Dating Advice From Some Of The Most Romantic Men In History!
Dating Advice From Some Of The Most Romantic Men In History!
And some of the not so Romantic...
And some of the not so Romantic...
Dude
Mirror-mirror on the wall; I'm stuck.
Magic Mirror
What's up bud?
Dude
There's this girl I really like...
Magic Mirror
There's ALWAYS a girl...
Dude
Yeah yeah, I know. Anyway, I need some advice-I don't know how to make her fall in love with me. Anyone in there could give me some advice?
Magic Mirror
Yes. But I warn you mortal; I am charged with an ancient magic that is beyond earthy control . The universe will provide you with whomever it wants, you must ask and they must answer!
Dude
Erm...what?
Magic Mirror
Just-...don't worry. Ask the question and someone will answer.
Dude
How do I make a woman love me?
Henry VIII
Forsooth, Peasant! To charm a wench, one must but reveal that thou art the King!
Dude
Okay, but what do you do if you're not the King?
Henry VIII
......Honestly, I have no idea. The old 'No but I'm the King' number always works. Literally every time.
Dude
Magic Mirror! Send me another!
Rasputin
Hello.
What is question?
Dude
.....how do I make a woman fall in love with me?
Rasputin
Is easy. Look them deep in eyes. Tell them you love them.
And then set them on fire.
Dude
Wait, what?
Rasputin
On fire.
With matches.
Dude
Right, arson aside, something more practical?
Rasputin
Arson is best but okay. Look her deep in eyes, tell her you love her more than anyone you've ever known and you will love her until day you die.
And then marry her younger sister. Never speak to her again.
When you have a daughter, name your child the name of your original love.
Dude
Mirror. Send me another!
Casanova
What is your question?
Dude
Finally! Someone who might be able to help me! How do I make a woman love me?
Casanova
This is your question? You pulled me back from the veil of another world, through hundreds of years, for dating advice?
Dude
...maybe.
Casanova
Fine. To win a woman is easy. First you must find her, then you must discover her obstacle. Tell me of your desired?
Dude
Her name is Jenny. She likes sunshine, and puppies, and I like her smile.
Casanova
She sounds....delightful. Now this Jenny, of the sunshine and the smiles, does she have an obstacle?
Dude
Her brother lives with her a is kind of a jerk?
Casanova
Perfect! Kill him.
Dude
....kill him.
Casanova
Yes! Kill him; you remove her obstacle! She will be so grateful she'll fall at your feet, overcome with love!
Dude
That's your advice? Kill him. Kill her brother. Super. Mirror! Another!
Magic Mirror
Dude. I'm not a vending machine! Last one.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
This AGAIN? I keep telling you, I'M NOT DEAD YET!
Dude
Justice Ginsburg?
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
What what what do you want? I was asleep!
Dude
I'm sorry. I need some advice. How do you make a woman fall in love with you?
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Okay well, your first problem is just the question in and of itself.
Dude
What do you mean?
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
You can't MAKE anyone love you. You can read them poetry, you can take them to dinner. But either they'll love you or they won't. Women are autonomous beings you know.
Dude
Look l'm a feminist, I donated to Hillary...
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Yeah yeah you talk a big game. But here's the reality. Text her. Ask her out for a drink. And then treat her like she's someone that you actually want to know. It's not hard.
Dude
Well, you make it sounds pretty straightforward.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
It is. Ask her. Respect her decision. Simple.
Dude
Okay. I texted. Just asking if she wanted to get a drink.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
GREAT. I'M SO PLEASED FOR YOU. THIS WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I DID ALL DAY.
Dude
I feel like you're being sarcastic?
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Boy, if you give me sass I'll bring back Rasputin.
Dude
Wait okay! She texted back! She said yes!
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Again, truly, this is the most difference I've ever made to someone's life. Really. This is it.
Dude
Good night, Justice Ginsburg.
Magic Mirror
Well?
Dude
Thanks Magic Mirror!
Magic Mirror
No problem bud. No problem.