Seven motorcycle life hacks

A massive waterproof tarpaulin costs only a tenner from B&Q (http://bit.ly/2kI2hQj) but will get blown off your bike if a butterfly flaps its wings on the other side of the world. The cheapest bike covers also cost as little as a tenner, on eBay, but aren't properly waterproof. So fold the tarpaulin in two, lay it over your bike and put the cover on top. Your bike now has triple-layered, completely waterproof protection at a fraction of the cost of a premium bike cover. The cover will buffet in the wind, letting air in, but the tarpaulin underneath won't, so won't rub against your paint or screen as much as a single layer would.
Tip: Make sure that exhaust is cold.

Black tack the ever-lasting gobstopper of adhesives. Used by photographers to stick equipment in awkward places, it's like Blu-Tack on steroids. If you're lost and you need to stick your smartphone to your dash to see Google Maps, this will do it. If you need to attach a sat nav with no mount, this will do it. If you want to stick an action camera to a slippery eel, this will do it. The bond gets stronger after a few minutes of contact, so it's stickier than it at first seems. It comes in a rolls or strips (http://amzn.to/2krFmKE) for about a fiver and it's reusable. Fold a blob into a bit of tough plastic packaging that won't tear, for example part of an old coffee packet, as shown. Keep it in your pocket to use whenever needed - over and over again.
Tip: It's not guaranteed to keep a 16lb bowling ball on your pillion seat at 100mph. Always use common sense, plus a secondary measure like gaffer tape where there's an obvious high risk of injury from an object becoming detached.

It's an old one, this, but still a highly useful piece of knowledge. You've had to do some emergency bike maintenance. Now you have to be somewhere where miner's hands are not the appropriate look. Unfortunately, your fresh out of the supply of Swarfega you usually carry everywhere. So get to any kitchen and use washing-up liquid and sugar instead. It works. You don't need to know why.
Tip: Cheese grater optional.

On long winter rides, keeping dry is half the battle to staying warm, and feet are particularly vulnerable. You have the choice of properly waterproof, usually Gore-Tex boots (like those shown), which are expensive, or cheaper ones that turn out not to be waterproof at all. But there's a third choice, costing five pence per foot. We're not going to explain further. You can see it.
Tip: Use decent carrier bags with no holes in them. Otherwise you're wasting your time and ours.

Even if you have properly waterproof gloves, keeping the insides dry is a challenge. If you haven't got the gauntlets tucked inside your jacket cuffs, they will slowly fill up as water runs down your arm. The other perennial problem is that, while waterproof membranes don't let water pass through, they do admit vapor. Your glove may be wet only on the outside when you take it off at work but when you put it back on to leave, some of the moisture will have got inside during the process of evaporation. You can think about that on the ride home, which will seem long and painful. We've heard some people say they go to the lengths of putting gloves in service station microwaves to avoid half an hour of numb fingers on the motorway. We've got a saner suggestion: always carry a spare pair. You will thank yourself for it.
Tip: They don't need to be as good as your best gloves. An old pair will do, as long as they're safe. They're just a back-up, so you're not stuck with wet hands long after the rain has stopped.

It was warm when you set out for that ride with your mates. Then the weather turned when you were still 45 minutes from home. Now you're shivering like a dog that's just crawled out of an icy lake. What you don't realise yet is that a crude but effective thermal layer is available from any newsagent for a nominal price. It's called a newspaper. It goes down the front of your leathers. All you have to do is get warmer, which you will.
Tip: A Star Wars sticker album will do just as well if that's all you have to hand.

The top-most of the above two pictures is of a 'non-slip mat' from the tool brand Rolson. The one beneath it is of a 'Motorcycle Blanket' from the motorcycle accessories brand Oxford Products. Both can be put under soft luggage to stop it scratching your paintwork. Both are on sale at the same retailer, Halfords. Both are about 0.5 metres-squared (the Rolson one is actually slightly bigger). The Oxford Products one is £9 (http://bit.ly/2kmwBiI) while the Rolson one is £4.99 (http://bit.ly/2krU1oZ). We don't know why, but we know which one we're buying.
Tip: We're buying the Rolson one and you should too.