What social media network are you?

Get out of my way, old man.

I hope they can show me a few things.

What is this 'computer' of which you speak?

Next question.

They are ok as long as they agree with me constantly.

Call me "People McPeople-face". I'm people-crazy.

No.

Yes!!

Um. Will I be tested on this.

Is that the conversation you have while playing cards?

Yes. I'm demon-filtering you as we speak.

No. Snapchat is the devil's work.

Hey! Cool gif! Always loved Star Wars.

It burns. BURNS.

Can't we talk about cushions again?

You ask this like there's a problem. There's no problem.

Once I've added today's business contacts I'm tickety boo.

Wait. Let me find a meme to express this.

Career advancement baby, network all the way.

No, no, no. The Hokie Pokie. That's what it's all about.

I just like seeing my enemies from high school get bald and old and divorced.

Tumblr.

Facebook.

They are social media platforms. They don't have arms.