How Should You Survive The Winter?
How Should You Survive The Winter?
It's getting cold outside, and this weekend doesn't bode well for us. But how should you personally deal with it?
It's getting cold outside, and this weekend doesn't bode well for us. But how should you personally deal with it?
What's the weather like where you're from?
How comfortable are your pillows?
Do you find winter fashion cute?
Your friend tripped and fell into the Hudson River! How will you warm them up?
How hard do you like your classes to be?
Are you willing to change yourself for a loved one?
Would you sneak a space heater into your room?
What are you doing to prepare for the snow this weekend?
Be Brave!
Be Brave!
You've been ready for this winter since the day you were born. Even in the summer, you wear wool socks. Scarves aren't a fashion choice, they're a lifestyle. You don't have to survive this winter, this winter has to get through you. Go kick it's ass, and make fun of everyone weaker than you.
Never Leave Bed
Never Leave Bed
Your bed feels about as cozy as a king mattress with 1000 thread count sheets this time of year. Blankets are the only thing between you and imminent frostbite. Your professors should probably accept "It's 10 degrees outside" as a valid excuse for an absence. Bring your books to bed, bring your food to bed, and definitely bring your laptop to bed.
Burn Yourself on Your Radiator
Burn Yourself on Your Radiator
There is only one true source of warmth in this world. Not love, not food calories, not even blankets. It's the radiator in your room, whose surface temperature is floating around 300 degrees Celsius. Unfortunately, Columbia's archaic climate control system doesn't distribute the heat too well, so you only have one option when faced with the snowy weather. Press your face against it. I know it's hot. Stay there. It will all be over soon.
Become a Northerner
Become a Northerner
Time to suck it up. Flip flops and shorts were meant for places kinder than New York. Go downtown and pick yourself up a proper winter coat. And gloves. And a couple of hats. Did you actually pack a light hoodie as your warmest layer? You pass by dogs warmer dressed than you. So get on that, and maybe you'll be able to make it through to April.
Succumb to the Snow
Succumb to the Snow
You have failed. You will not survive this winter. I am sorry. We'll have to destroy you before the snowman infection spreads too far.