What Type of Hockey Player are You?

You know you're not getting paid for this, right? While everyone out there is playing for fun, you're playing to win. Everyone in the league might hate you, but look on the bright side: you almost had a successful toe-drag last game and you're favored to win the league MVP award, so you've got that going for you.

You put the beer in beer league hockey, and you're proud of that. While your teammates worry about you drinking around sharp metal blades, you know you've got this whole thing under control....everything except your bladder, that is, which needs emptying after every period.
You lead the league in Crushed Cans (CCs), Refs Sworn At (RSAs), Bathroom Breaks Taken (BBTs).

Oh, where would your team be without you, the unappreciated babysitter? You're not out there to win or lose, you're simply looking for some fun with your pals. You drive your boozebag teammate home, lace up the bender's skates, encourage the try-hard to pass the puck for once, and remind the wannabe enforcer that there's no fighting in beer league ice hockey.

Easy tiger; if you were looking for a place to blow off some steam, maybe try boxing classes. While you may think you're tough, remember that no one in your adult ice hockey league really cares. Quit dropping the gloves and try to smile–you might be surprised how much fun this is.

So you're new to this–no shame in that. Learning to skate is hard; if it were easy, you would have figured it out by now. While your teammates may not want you to, stick with it and you'll be hogging the puck like the rest of them in no time.
If you're not so new to this, and you're still the team's bender, you may want to try something else...or be a hero and play goalie!