What Type Of Drunk Are You?

Slowly sipping some wine and stalking your ex on social media. JUST to make sure you don't go to the same place as him. Duh.

You might just have a beer or something. You're not picky.

SHOTS! WE'RE DOING SHOTS.

Insist the bartender give you a free drink because you waited in line forever and you're a regular.

Flirt with the cute guy from your class, and convince him to do a shot.

Take pictures. You want to do it before you all get drunk-eyes.

Order a round for your friends and snag a barstool.

Scan the room to see if your ex arrived yet. What? His Facebook said he was coming.

Find his best friend and start flirting.

Try to avoid him, but if you guys bump into each other, you'll smile and say hi.

Decide to cut the shit and talk to him. And if you go home together, whatever.

Wait until the new girl is in the bathroom, corner her, and tell her what a dick your ex is.

Cry. Loudly. Publicly. Embarrassingly.

Making out with your ex's best friend.

Dancing with your friends and taking shitty Snapchats you'll regret tomorrow.

BODY SHOTS. BODY SHOTS.

Flirting with the cute bartender who's been eyeing you all night.

Text-bombing your ex from across the bar, asking why he did this to you.

Kiss all of your sisters, tell them how much you love them, and sob into your dress because no one wants to order pizza.

Text your fuck buddy and take a cab to his place.

Make your Uber driver go through the drive-through and buy enough food to feed a small country.

Convince your ex's best friend to take you home. What? You'll behave.

Call your ex 15 times, leave him 7 tearful voicemails, and get dragged out by your friends.

Give your number to the hot bartender and tell him to text you when he's off.

His penis.

Cuddling with your best friend and bitching about the girls you hate until you pass out.

Pizza rolls. French fries. Garlic Rolls. Chicken Strips.

Angry stalking his new girlfriend and passive-aggressively liking everything.

Lots of "Iiii lub youu so mhch" texts to every guy you've ever spoken to.

Where's my wallet? And my bra? And my dignity?

Thank God I drunkenly deleted all of my texts. Still, I feel like I need to do some damage control.

Where am I? And who's in bed next to me?

I'm fine. A little hungover but fine. I'll be better once I get some brunch and some Instagram likes.

Please tell me that I didn't actually yell at my ex's new girlfriend and then send her a friend request on FB. Please?

Same bar. Same people. Same mistakes.

Dying.

Finding a new guy. Why? You don't want to be tied down.

Send yet another apology to the friend you called a slut and the ex you called a dick. Whoops.