Ted 2: Are You A Ted, A John Or A Donny?

Don't do it. Heckling a child crosses the line.

Get there late so you're not noticed, and heckle like crazy.

Get there early to get a front row seat.

Talk for a few minutes more to get a better idea if she's into you or not, and then go for it. She's gotta be into it, though.

Immediately pass first base and proceed straight to second with hopes of stealing third.

Sit and talk all night, because you need to sober up and may not be able to perform.

Yell “Fire!" and slip a sedative into their drinks. Get the couple into your car and plot your next move while driving home.

Tell the guy you saw the valet take his car for a joyride and swoop in with a pick-up line to see if you can become the next contestant in her tables games.

You take out your phone, snap a picture of the proceedings and directly post to Twitter with an inappropriate hashtag.

Google Bill to get as much dirt as you can, once you get past all the suggested links for “black cock." As a Plan B, plant some of your stash in Bill's desk when he's out for lunch. Still present evidence to boss.

Google Bill to get as much dirt as you can, once you get past all of the suggested links for “black cock". Armed with the evidence, go directly to boss's office and present him with the facts.

Google Bill to get as much dirt as you can, get lost down a rabbit hole of search results, and realize the job isn't really for you anyway.

Run home to fill a pill bottle with watered down mayonnaise. Return to the pool, let it loose, and scream “Ewwwww, sperm in the deep end. Everybody out!"

Grab it quickly without even thinking twice about it.

Promptly leave the pool, grab a janitor's uniform, hit the vending machine, and return with a chocolate bar. Take the bar for a swim, pretend you're the first to notice it, and then do the dirty work and the dirty deed all at once.