Dear Universal, Change the God-Awful Hermione Voice

As we travel from King's Cross to Hogsmeade station and vise versa, we are delighted with the voices of many characters from the series. A few scenes even include our golden trio dealing with different scenarios on the train, with Rupert Grint voicing Ron. Then we get to Hermione's voice, which is nowhere near what we imagine Emma Watson's voice to sound like. In fact, I beg you to listen to this tragedy for yourself:

Why do I, and basically everyone in the Potter fandom, hate this voice with such a passion? Well, I think that it has so much to do with the fact that, apart from this glaring mistake, the Hogwarts Express ride is such an immersive attraction. Every time I hear that Hermione voice say, "Honestly, Ron!", I just cringe so much and it takes me completely out of the experience. I also know that I can't be the only one who has such a big problem with it, so here are some options that Universal could use to fix it from easiest to most ridiculous. I'm just spitballing here.

The most logical option for Universal to improve the ride is to hire a new actress to redo the voice-over. There are plenty of unknown actresses whom I am sure have the talent to fix the problem. I'm not asking for Emma Watson here (yet), but just an unknown actress to do a reasonable British accent. The whole process wouldn't take more than a few months, and the ride would be gaining a world of improvement from this revamp.

If Universal doesn't like my first reasonable solution, then I will offer up my own candidate of who should voice Hermione. I suggest MuggleNet's own Michael Harle, master Harry Potter voice enthusiast. To any who listen to the podcasts that Michael frequently hosts, Alohomora! and SpeakBeasty, you already know of his voice work and his charming Hermione voice. Let me tell you, I would enjoy nothing more than hearing Michael go "HONESTLY, RON" in his hilarious good Hermione voice as I travel on the Hogwarts Express.

Now, when this ride was originally made, Emma Watson's Harry Potter contract was up, which is why she was not required to be part of the ride. What Universal should do is just offer Emma a ridiculous sum of money so she will do the voiceover. We all know that she probably doesn't need the money, and this offer may not even tempt her. A counterargument to that is tell her that you will donate a ridiculous amount of money to HeForShe, the feminist campaign that she is affiliated with.

If Emma Watson doesn't take the money bait, then there is only one course of action left: just beg her. If you ask enough times, send enough letters, and tell her the kids want it, it may work. The downside to this plan is that she may just ignore Universal and she will become so annoyed that she will sever her ties with the company. But hey, I vote it is worth the risk.

At this point, I will offer my own talents to voice Hermione. I am not British, nor am I a voice actress, but I will take one for the team. Anything that I can squeak out has to better than what is currently being used. I also think that the fact that I have easily watched every Harry Potter movie over 100 times makes me qualified enough to know what Hermione is supposed to sound like.