Pair These Beers To Each Part Of Your Menstrual Cycle!

Samuel Smith Organic Chocolate Stout

Chocolate and beer go with PMS even better than Netflix and heating pads. You're grouchy and you want chocolate. Sam Smith has the solution to both problems in one bottle!

Le Fin Du Monde (The end of the world)

This Belgian Tripel brewed in Canada is perfect for the first day. Getting your period isn't the end of the world, but it can make you a bit cranky. The Armageddon attitude of the name paired with the 9% ABV will help you get over that tout de suite.

Bud Light

Don't turn your nose up at this classic 'Murican brew. Day two is typically the day you have to go to the drug store to get supplies because you're down to a few pantyliners and four Pamprins. While you're there, you might as well grab a sixer. At least this beer won't make you feel bloated. Or any more bloated than you already are anyway.

Tricerahops

Not many people know this but experts refer to the third day of your period as the "Danger, Danger Will Robinson!" day. If there was any day when you were in danger of becoming a blubbering and/or angry drunk, it's this cursed day. This full-bodied, double hopped beer will keep you from drinking too much, or switching to tequila. Tequila and day three do NOT mix!

Guinness

This pub staple is filled with the iron and minerals that anyone who's been losing blood for four straight days needs to keep from fainting. Plus, it's surprisingly low alcohol, and let's face it, you're a total lightweight right now.

Harpoon Take 5 Session IPA

This smooth, full-flavored ale will give you the mid-cycled beer binge you deserve, but it's low alcohol: just 4.3 ABV. That way you can pound a few of these bad boys and stay on your toes so you don't do something stupid like forget to take your BC pill. Now is not the time for that crap! Stay on target!

St. Pauli N.A.

Let's not take any chances until you pee on that stick. If you must drink beer, and yes you must, go with this non-alcoholic beer. This way, if anyone asks, you can say that no, you have not been drinking. For those of you who think non-alcoholic beer isn't real beer, give it a chance. Hey, every pregnant woman you've ever meant can't be wrong. Whoops, I didn't mean to say the P-word. I mean...I'm sure it's fine.

Literally anything you want. It's all over. Time time to celebrate. Bottoms up, baller!