Are You Celestial, Terrestrial, or Telestial?

Pack your spiritual bags and get ready for many mansions because you are headed to the Celestial Kingdom!

The Celestial Kingdom is the highest of the three kingdoms of glory and it just got a little better because you're there!

White is definitely your color and you're meant for streets paved with gold. All the harps and happiness will help you pass the time while you work on your eternal increase. We hope you like kids, because you're going to have billions of them!

To meet more diverse Mormons from all over the restoration spectrum, join us at Sunstone 2017 in Salt Lake City. Find more info at Sunstone.org

Okay, we can't celebrate mediocrity so we'll just settle for a half-hearted fist bump.

You're headed for Terrestrial glory along with those who will “receive of the presence of the Son, but not of the fulness of the Father. Wherefore, they are bodies terrestrial, and not bodies celestial, and differ in glory as the moon differs from the sun” (D&C 76:77-78).

Generally speaking, individuals in the Terrestrial kingdom will be honorable people “who were blinded by the craftiness of men” (D&C 76:75). This group will include members of the Church who were “not valiant in the testimony of Jesus” (D&C 76:79).

It's cool, we get it. Being valiant is hard, especially when HBO makes so many great television shows. The good news is, the cast of Game of Thrones are totes honorable and a bit crafty, so you can hang with them while your righteous parents are procreating into the eternities.

To meet more diverse Mormons from all over the restoration spectrum, join us at Sunstone 2017 in Salt Lake City. Find more info at Sunstone.org

Oh dear, you're a godless heathen. You're headed for Telestial glory which is reserved for individuals who “received not the gospel of Christ, neither the testimony of Jesus” (D&C 76:82).

But you'll only get this "glory" after spending a load of time in spirit prison first, which is sometimes called hell (see D&C 76:84, D&C 76:106).

We know Spirit Prison sounds like a drag, but you'll get through it. Rumor is, it's run by Steve Martin who makes you watch all of his films back-to-back for three hundred years, until someone finally legitimately does his temple work and he can progress. You can do anything for 300 years!

After that, you'll have your "glory" in hell where atheists and fans of Fifty Shades of Gray will snuggle after a long day's work of burying dinosaur bones on newly formed planets. It's no heaven, but it could be worse!

To meet more diverse Mormons from all over the restoration spectrum, join us at Sunstone 2017 in Salt Lake City. Find more info at Sunstone.org

Uh-oh. You're a Son of Perdition. (No girls allowed!) Some people will not be worthy to dwell in any kingdom of glory. They will be called “the sons of perdition” and will have to “abide a kingdom which is not a kingdom of glory” (D&C 76:32; 88:24).

There's really no way to describe what's ahead for you, but we'll try. Imagine waiting in a crowded line at Walmart for the rest of eternity, with loads of screaming babies and terrible ambient music. This is what your future is going to be like, except those screaming babies are actually demons and the ambient music is actually Kevin Federline on repeat. Sound terrible? Well, you deserve it.

To meet more diverse Mormons from all over the restoration spectrum, join us at Sunstone 2017 in Salt Lake City. Find more info at Sunstone.org