Which Dinosaur Is Your Perfect Soulmate?

You read that right. Time to get Jurassic-up-in-here.

J. Dalvy
Created By J. Dalvy
On Feb 26, 2019

First off, why are you here, hmm?

Now then... Who would you most want to be stuck in Jurassic Park with?

Awesome... but let's say that person was eaten. So now who's your SECOND choice?

Alright... Now ALL of those people were eaten. Alive. So who's your Next-Gen choice?

Wait, back up. Would you even GO to Jurassic Park in the first place?

Either way, let's get you prepped by going to a nice, safe Zoo. Which animal are we seeing first?

Next step: Safari! Which personal tour guide will you be picking?

Now forget EVERYTHING you just told us and pick which Dog Breed you're most like. Because quizzes:

The Above & Beyond Brachiosaurus

The Above & Beyond Brachiosaurus

You're smart. So smart, in fact, that you probably know to use the correct term "Brachiosaurus" when referring to the most common long-necked dinosaur, as a "Brontosaurus" isn't even a real thing. You expect the same in others, which is why the Above & Beyond Brachiosaurus is your perfect match. Anything less just will not do.

The "Eh... He'll Do" Stegosaurus

The "Eh... He'll Do" Stegosaurus

Life's just... better when you're coasting, right? What you need is a perfect coasting partner - The embodiment of "Eh..." in Dino-form: the Stegosaurus! Sure, they're cool and neat and everyone knows what they are - but are they really.... doing anything... except having those weird plates and eating grass? Nope, and that's perfectly fine with you.

The Testosteroneous Triceratops

The Testosteroneous Triceratops

This much is clear - You need the biggest, most-roided-out, and horni---- okay, okay, we won't go for the obvious joke there. But seriously - there's never been a match made in Dino-heaven quite like you and the Triceratops, because this bad@$$ moth*rf^@#er will bulldoze ANYbody dumb enough to step in your way. And that is EXACTLY what you like in a date... er, Dinosaur. Someone who is always there, 100% ready to school some fools.

You're welcome ;)

The Primadonna Pterodactyl

The Primadonna Pterodactyl

OOOooooohhhh looook att meeee - I can flyyyyyy! See how special I am? WE GET IT, PTERADACTYL - YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL FLYING ANIMAL - which is exactly why this sultry soarer is all for you. Normal is a very real thing, and you like to keep things well above it. Life's too short to be un-beautiful and stuck on the ground, am'i'rite?

The El'Spicy Velociraptor

The El'Spicy Velociraptor

Well hello there. Imagine if Antonio Banderas & Salma Hayek were dinosaurs - REALLY hot dinosaurs - and they had a baby... It would be your soulmate: The El'Spicy Velociraptor. You, yourself, are very spicy, and like to keep things... interesting. Look no further, lover - for this feathered freak is allllll yourrrrrrs.

The Mightiest of Them All: Tyrannosaurus Rex

The Mightiest of Them All: Tyrannosaurus Rex

You really should be proud of yourself. What result could possibly give you better bragging rights? Not a dang one, that's which. You have the soul of a champion and the heart of a lion. Now please, feel free to gloat to all of your friends that you and a T-Rex will be walking hand-in-tiny-hand off into the sunset together, because you're royalty and everyone else is not.

No one will love you fiercer.

The End.