Easy 1 Love Language Test

You basically want to suck up another person's time and headspace because you simply cannot imagine why someone who loves you wouldn't want to be attached to you on a near constant basis. You might be introverted, and accustomed to focusing your entire world around personal minutia so your true love would make you that personal minutia. Avoid the Sugar Daddy/Mommy who will just try to buy you off. Your best match is the Handsy Whoar who will at least want to spend as much time with you, however you'll have to settle for an orifice being penetrated at all times.

In your mind, nothing says I love you like a reach around. You don't want a nice hot cup of coffee in the morning, you want a hot Karl. When you use the word "know", it's always in the biblical sense. You like your relationships built on the everlasting, solid foundation that is lust, stamina, desire, and impressive dermatological elasticity. You might have a lot of partners since Love is always just an alcohol fueled night of passion away, and after while your constant molestations whenever your partner strays into your peripheral vision gets a bit old. Avoid the Words of Some Shit person, since your dirty talk doesn't cut it. Look for the Stage 5 Clinger who will weather the storm of your perversion.

What people say is important to you and makes you feel good, despite the fact words are the easiest love language to fake. "I love you, playbuzz quiz taker. My life was incomplete without you, but now that we've found each other we can live happily ever after." Wow that was easy. I didn't even have to Google what to say. Anyways, you're very easy to please as long as your partner has a good script, and even if they don't, a sincere apology overrides all. You're susceptible to abuse because words are everything and unlike Shakira, you know that Hips DO lie, as do the fists and household objects that come whirling towards you. It's fine though, they say they love you and they'd never hurt you baby. Avoid the Handsy Whoar who will sweet talk your unmentionables away instantly, look to Slave Labor who will at least play lip service to you while they instruct you how to wash the dishes.

You're the Sugar Daddy/Mommy. As in, that's what you need to feel loved. Nothing feels better than that purse or gadget that a small 7 year hold stitched or soldered together for you at absurd markup. Love for you is directly correlated with the GDP of your mate. You're not shallow and materialistic though, you just have good taste and like your comforts, like that fancy new Cecil the Lion pelt you use to dry off your undercarriage after you use the bidet in one of the 7 bathrooms you have. You'll go well with any other type provided you can fulfill their needs enough for them to overlook you for the conspicuous consuming trash that you are.

Your true love knows that for you, subservience is the way to thawing that ice cold taskmaster heart of yours. You busy yourself with inane tasks other people don't give a shit enough to help you with, so your mind equates labor with love. Talk is cheap, but watching your SO on their hands on knees scrubbing the toilet while you're free to kick back for some Netflix and Chill is romance at its core. Hey, you're easy to love, as long as this itemized and prioritized list of menial shit you want to do is co-opted by your mate. You'll match up well with Words or Some Shit, since if you doll out worthy praise your partner will be all too happy to do your bidding.