Oh My God, How Did You Kill Kenny?

You bastard!

James Ronson
Created By James Ronson
On Dec 21, 2015

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Pummelled With Dodgeball

Pummelled With Dodgeball

You killed Kenny with a barrage of dodgeballs! You are a sporty, competitive type, so when the match reached breaking point you had no qualms pepping up your team to really pull out all the stops in the final stretch. Unfortunately you prepped too hard and the ensuing volley of rubber balls crushed, battered and bludgeoned Kenny’s face off in a matter of seconds. You bastard!

Trampled in mosh pit

Trampled in mosh pit

You killed Kenny by trampling him in a moshpit! You thought you were being decent - you’re a huge music fan, so why wouldn’t your orange-parka’d friend love watching Kansas play as much as you? Unfortunately you got a bit carried away during Carry On My Wayward Son, as did 100,000 others, and Kenny got violently trampled underfoot. You bastard!

Mauled by a bear

Mauled by a bear

You killed Kenny by getting him mauled by a bear! Now, you can’t be held entirely responsible for this one - technically it was an eight foot-tall Appalachian grizzly that ripped his sinewy flesh apart, not you - but who sprinkled raspberries into the enclosure, hmm? Who encouraged him to do a Lincoln-era state-of-the-union address on the railings? Who pushed him, huh? Huh!? You bastard!

Flattened by chandelier

Flattened by chandelier

You killed Kenny by flattening him with a chandelier. Okay, you know how it is. One day you’re just chilling in a million-dollar Beverley Hills mansion, trying to enjoy the finer things in life, as is your wont - but a few vodka tonics later, things get out of hand. They're delivering the massive glass chandelier, something something something, Kenny gets mashed into a fine paste under a tonne of steel and diamond and there’s nothing Hells Pass Hospital can do about it .You bastard!