What should you be for Halloween?

Big

Small

mEdiUm-siZeD

A squash

You are the Halloween equivalent of a grinch and do not get pumpkins

You’re the guy with the inflatable Santa on Halloween

You don’t decorate because you think it is juvenile and you don’t want joy in your life.

You live in a haunted Armenian castle already, so you don’t even have to do anything!

Why get fake skeletons when you’re only a few blocks away from the local cemetery? This year’s decorations are going on Pinterest.

You jump out of the door with a pitchfork and scare them. You wonder why the police classify you as a child predator.

You give them toothbrushes -- what could be more important than oral hygiene?

You hand out those weird candies that nobody recognises and parents tell their kids to throw out. Most of them aren’t poisoned.

You bolt your door shut, lock it three times, and turn off all lights. This is the Purge.

Spiders

Death

Social humiliation (see also: P.E.)

Mr Morden

Swedish meatballs at the caf

You smell something delicious. You go to the caf. You watch as your mortal enemy snatches the last caf cookie. You wake up, crying.

Ursula is laughing wildly because you, Ariel, are stuck in an underwater sea cave with no way out.

AP Calculus BC is now a graduation requirement for all students. #blessed