The Chat: Reviewing Cross-Cultural Crisis Response to Victims of Domestic Violence
The Chat: Reviewing Cross-Cultural Crisis Response to Victims of Domestic Violence
All too often cultural differences in language, living experiences, and perspectives are obstacles to women of color who are in need of help from mainstream organizations. (based on an actual call)
All too often cultural differences in language, living experiences, and perspectives are obstacles to women of color who are in need of help from mainstream organizations. (based on an actual call)
Black Women and Obstacles to Help
White Woman (Advocate)
All women should be equal. A man should never abuse a woman. A woman is never to blame for abuse. If you are abused, we are here for you.
How can I help you?
Black Woman (victim of abuse)
You can help me to get my husband to stop acting like he crazy. At least, I hope you can help me.
My husband has a problem with grabbing. He don't hit me or nothing like that but will grab you up in a minute if he gets mad.
White Woman (Advocate)
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I am here to help. Please feel free to share more. Sometimes it helps to talk about it.
Black Woman (victim of abuse)
Thank you. Cause this is working on my nerves. I can't go through no mess like this over some love.
White Woman (Advocate)
I'm really sorry to hear that. Abuse can be a source of anxiety.
Black Woman (victim of abuse)
Anxiety? Nah I don't have anxiety. He just working my nerves.
White Woman (Advocate)
Oh. I didn't mean to imply that you have anxiety. Just letting you know that people in abusive situations often get anxiety. But you were saying....?
Black Woman (victim of abuse)
Yeah. I told you he grabs me right? And I have told this $%# that he better not grab me one more time. I do love him, but I'm tired of him grabbing me up like I'm his %$# child. I ain't his child. He gone stop that #$@#.
Look. Bottom line. I'm tired.
White Woman (Advocate)
It sounds like you are pretty angry with him. It's normal to be angry. When someone is attacking you, anger is certainly appropriate. But, I will say, you may want to make sure that you aren't being aggressive with him. Because th.........
Black Woman (victim of abuse)
Ain't nobody being aggressive!
I'm not being aggressive with him. If it sounds like I'm angry, it's because I am. I'm tired of this #$@ snatching me up anytime that he gets ready. And if I so much as walk towards the door, this #$@ start talking about murder.
I'm tired. Tired. Tired. Tired.
White Woman (Advocate)
I hear you. You're very angry with him. He is being physically violent with you. That would make anyone angry. It makes me angry hearing it.
I'm just listening to you and I'm wondering if your language may be....
Black Woman (victim of abuse)
My language??!! This %$# is over here grabbing me up like a rag doll. I mean like, literally picking me up off the ground, leaving bruises. I'm wearing long sleeves. It's July.
He is scaring the #$@ out of me.
You never know what he will do. You never know what will set him off. He just goes off.
White Woman (Advocate)
My only interest is in keeping you safe. I just think that it is helpful to remember that sometimes our words and actions can make a situation worse.
Trainer
What went wrong here? Discuss.....