Test Yourself: Are You in a Toxic Friendship?

Toxic friendships are not always easy to pinpoint, but it’s important to know when a friendship has become toxic, sapping your energy and undermining your self-esteem.

They love drama.

Arguing with them is a nightmare.

You feel insecure around them.

You often think life might be better without them.

They like to remind you that they are like family. Close family.
And that family comes first,
like it or not.

It's never their fault and you always have to understand and take their side.

It's hard for them to be happy for you when they're down and you feel like you must be understanding.

They hooked up with your ex
and didn't tell you.
When you confronted them,
they made you feel petty.

They are boring.

It's not an option to hang out with them in a group.

They embarrass you.

You never feel heard in an argument with them.

They often say that you were dealt a better hand than they were.

They go all Jekyll and Hyde on you - Mood swings are an understatement.

Your other friends are concerned about your relationship.

JEALOUS TOXIC

JEALOUS TOXIC

Everyone has ups and downs, and it’s perfectly okay for friends to not be your cheerleaders every time something good happens. That would be completely unrealistic of you to expect, because they have lives too.
Yet, beware of the friends who seem super supportive when times are tough and then, without explanation, disappear when you do get that promotion, new relationship, car, etc. Looks like they can’t handle the spotlight being on you and loving someone only when they're doing worse than you are is not the idea of a healthy friendship.

EMOTIONALLY GREEDY TOXIC

EMOTIONALLY GREEDY TOXIC

Friendship is a two-way street. So without being any less generous towards your friends, stay alert for signs that someone expects you to always be the giver in your interactions.
If you support your friend’s new business, but they are nowhere to be found when the time comes to plan the birthday party you asked them to help you with months ago, or they expect you to be all ears while they vent about the boss you share, then leave work early and leave you behind to finish up the project you're working on, there are some big problems with your "friendship".

INTOLERANT SEMI-TOXIC

INTOLERANT SEMI-TOXIC

Friends who have been together long enough will eventually have some type of an argument. This is to be expected and there are healthy ways to disagree that make debates lively and fun ways to expand your moral horizons,
Life would be boring if everyone agreed with you, but it looks like your friend just won't tolerate you disagreeing with them. They might go all passive aggressive on you, but it still doesn't mean they won't listen if you tell them how they made you feel. Call them out on it and give them a chance to realize they hurt you.

POSSESSIVE SEMI-TOXIC

POSSESSIVE SEMI-TOXIC

Even the best of friends need to be able to spend time with other people from time to time, so watch out for friends who exclude others from spending time with you or act possessive or angry when you tell them you are spending time with your college roommate or your family visiting from out of town.
You deserve the freedom to hang out with whomever you choose, and your friends should also have other friendships (and lives!) of their own, and sometimes, those friendships may not include you.

NON-TOXIC LONG GONE

NON-TOXIC LONG GONE

Sometimes friendships grow on us, but it makes perfect sense for you to grow out of a friendship as well. It doesn't sound like your friend is doing anything intentional to hurt you or keep you from being happy. Is it possible that you just don't have that much in common anymore? Or that there is a clearly less invested side in this friendship (hint - you!) who would gladly get out if only the other side would stop calling every day?
You're only human, and we all make mistakes, but if this is the case, be brave and kind enough to let your friend go, because they don't deserve the cold shoulder you give them.

Test Yourself: Are You in a Toxic Friendship?