Why are you sad?

I'm sorry that you are being chained to your bed. I promise that the handcuffs aren't real, they just feel like it. I'm also sorry if there are bricks in your backpack. You can't buy a new one because the weight will follow you everywhere. I hope that your parents are excepting and try to find you help. To cure: Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors

If you can stop shaking your leg while you read this, retake this quiz. I know it's hard to focus in class. I promise that life isn't that bad, there are rainbows after the rain. But I just want to remind you of all the rain in your life. You are Portland and you're trying to find security in the Spring: it's impossible. People say to do meditation, but I've tried it kids: DON'T DO IT! The quiet only leaves your heart empty and your brain overthinking. To cure: place a heavy object on your legs and hands to stop the jittering.

That stands for Living Through Other's Sadness Disorder. Okay. Now, this is hard because you need to stop caring. We are insignificant. A bunch of nobodies on a planet that is going to die anyway. These people you are caring too much about? They are just bringing you down. You think that if you leave them they will die; you're wrong. I'm not surprised that you're selfish enough to think they actually care about you. Leave them for god sakes, they will just find someone else to make suffer. To cure: Get a life of your own.

Everyone is broken. Everyone. If I took a wine glass and smashed it on the floor, could you glue it back together? Possibly. But would it ever look the same again? No. It wouldn't. So please stop trying. People are not projects for you to work on or essays for you to edit. Just be there for them. Always be there. Not close enough to touch their bubble, but hopefully you get the idea. To cure: Find a DIY project on Pinterest.