Are you terrible to work with?

Embellish the story.

Not say thank you when someone congratulates you.

Brush it off as a team effort.

Tell everyone who walks by your desk.

The odd loose paperclip, otherwise it's pretty ship shape.

There are cola cans and stacks of paper I use as a coaster.

I leave a trail of destruction wherever I go, not just the desk.

The bin next to my desk doesn't mean any of the rubbish will go into it.

Your, ahem, bowel movements. Disappear for 12 minutes, on your employer's time.

Your shower. Being gross and smelly won't be horrible for everyone else.

You always get up on time.

Your breakfast. Just crack into your lunch at 10.22am

You got away with it once, now you're addicted to skiving.

Only in an emergency.

You don't. You just go into work and infect everyone else.

You worked late shifts a lot last week, so now you deserve it.

Dragoon a junior colleague into helping you complete your work.

You stay late, but let everybody know about it. Huge drama.

Catch up during someone else's meeting. You can multitask, right?

Stay late and finish up. If it's time sensitive you let your manager know in advance if it's going to be late.

You don't put people on the spot, and it's only once a year or so.

Always.

Yes.

Never.

Only if you're stressed.

Never. You keep things PG 13. 'Sugar' is as rude as it gets.

A f*** tonne

Is b**ch still a swear word?

Flushing red because you just mentioned you have a growth in an unmentionable place.

They're furiously pushing in ear buds to drown out your loud mouth.

Giggling because you're funny, even if it's distracting.

Nodding approvingly at your work related conversation.

Do it, but then moan about it to everyone within earshot.

Respond with 20+ questions. Hopefully your boss will just reassign it.

Bite your tongue, and finish it. The sooner the better.

Roll your eyes a bit, but otherwise get on it with it.