Hello, I’m Jessi Klein, tomboy, late bloomer and comedian. My friend Emily and I have decided that all women are either poodles or wolves. What we mean is, poodles and wolves are both technically dogs, but based on appearances, it doesn’t make any sense that they share a common ancestor. Everyone I’ve said this to knows pretty instinctively whether they’re a poodle or a wolf, but if you’re not sure here’s a handy quiz, taken from my new book, You’ll Grow Out Of It
You are wearing an amazing new dress as you walk through the city. What happens next?
You are wearing sweatpants and a denim shirt as you walk through the city. What happens next?
When did you lose your virginity?
How many bras do you own?
What underwear do you wear?
You arrive early for an event. Do you:
When you first got your period what did you use?
If you left your eyebrows to their own devices would they:
Do you wear:
A tourist is taking photos. Do they:
You are a poodle. This basically means you are a classy, French type of person who exudes effortless style and grace from your pores. You radiate femininity. You are a highly evolved specimen. You may not need this book.
Famous poodle women: Angelina Jolie Kiera Knightley Charlize Theron Kate Moss Nigella Lawson The Girl from Ipanema
You are a wolf. If you put on poodle clothing you will merely be a wolf in poodles’ clothing. You might be beautiful, you are probably funny and almost certainly smart, but you can never deny your true wolf nature. You probably sweat on the tube and snort when you laugh, and you probably feel a little uncomfortable in your wolf skin. Welcome to the club (you’ll have to buy your own drinks).
Famous wolf women: Sandra Bullock Helena Bonham Carter Tina Fey Jennifer Aniston