Which 80s Action Hero Should You Adopt As Your Dad?

Your new dad can beat up all dads. No question!!

Gary Jones
Created by Gary Jones
On Mar 29, 2017

Pick an arena

Choose your weapon

pick an 80s fad

Choose a villain

What is the most heroic quality?

What matters most?

Pick an 80s mom

Who would win in a fight?

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger

You'll be in good hands with the Terminator. He is intimidating, and often villainous, but knows how to keep up with the times. He's even relevant today. He can teach you as much about politics as he can about weight lifting. What more could an 80s kid want?

Sylvester Stallone

Sylvester Stallone

Your new dad is a go getter, the kind who is not afraid to draw first blood. He's got a particular set of skills that will be useful far into the future, and knows that there's more to a fight than winning. You might have some communications issues, but you'll get a handle on the way he talks soon enough.

Kurt Russel

Kurt Russel

Your new dad has got it all. He's funny, not afraid to get serious, and of course, he kicks serious ass! He's the dad you can run to with any problem. If you're stuck in a jam in some city he'll help you escape. If you're cold he'll do his best to keep you warm. And if you get in big trouble, he won't get mad, but he just might get even.

Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal

Your new dad might not be the most popular, and might not have translated as well beyond his initial fame, but he is irrefutably an action hero of the top class. He is a master with weapons, and can teach how to use everything from a machete to a pool cue if you should ever be in trouble. Best of all you don't have to worry about what will happen. Your new dad is hard to kill!

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