Quiz - Twain or Marx?

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Humour is reason gone mad.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.