The Morrissey quiz

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."

"My suit has nothing to do with the assault, or battery, or poisoning, but is about three goats, which, I complain, have been stolen by my neighbor...It is time, Postumus, to say something about my three goats."

"A judge is not supposed to know anything about the facts of life until they have been presented in evidence and explained to him at least three times."

“It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances."

"Listen, I am at heart, as you very well know, a republican.

But it's not the fight I'm going to fight: it's not the fight I'm interested in."

"Something as curious as the monarchy won't survive unless you take account of people's attitudes. After all, if people don't want it, they won't have it."

"There is no necessity to separate the monarch from the mob; all authority is equally bad."

""If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas."

"Crime is a job. Sex is a job. Growing up is a job. School is a job. Going to parties is a job. Religion is a job. Being creative is a job."

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”

"I think God has forsaken this place. I believe I have seen hell and it's white, it's snow-white.”

"Everywhere there is conflict and unkindness."

"It's grim."

"Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts."

“Pull the hair on my head the wrong way, and I would be on my knees begging for mercy. I have very sensitive follicles.”

“If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.”

“The best things in life make you sweaty.”

“I go to seek a Great Perhaps.”

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that’s all."