17 Independence Day Family Photos These Families Wish They Could Destroy With Their Fireworks

The hats are here to commemorate the tri-cornered hat Paul Revere wore on his midnight ride. Only they're classier.

It's never too early to teach the kids that real Patriots drink wine as red as the stripes of the American flag.

It's just like the magenta smoke from the cannonfire that accompanied the naval battle at Fort McHenry in the War of 1812.

Now get ready for PAIL HELMETS, the most patriotic of headgear!

Much like we pushed that famous traitor out of our good graces, Uncle Dave pushed his pot-smoking nephew Stephen out of the family portrait.

The Great Tide of Freedom was too much for this poor infant.

Nothing says equality like equally horrifying matching outfits.

This little enforcer is ready to do his duty as a patriot.

This is not the kind of chorus line the kids had in mind when they suggested the costumes.

Even on Easter, which is actually when this photo was taken.

Not even when that patriot is naked. Not even when that patriot is a three-year-old. Not even when that patriot is a naked man standing next to a three-year-old.

Fire cannot burn a true patriot. He was no patriot.

Freedom never dies, and neither will this portrait of Grandma.

Forever in peace may you WERK.

This Dad's dedication to freedom is such that he wears a bowtie featuring only the original 13 colonies, the most patriotic of all states.

Really, Mel Gibson should have dropped the axe and used that badass sword from Braveheart.

Is the Musical Sequel to American Idiot about what happens when Green Day Mocks the USA, starring Liberty and Justice as Angsty but Patriotic Teens 1 and 2.