What kind of Stoke fan are you?

"I'm very disappointed. A lot of questions need to be asked"

"Hughes needs to go. He's lot the dressing room."

"It was obvious from our XG we were going to lose that. This blog I haven't actually read proves it"

"JUST A BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE. IF YOU CRITICISE THAT YOU'RE A BAD FAN"

"I've written a poem about the existential despair this game caused. Please read"

"JUST HAD 10TH PINT STOKE BE BEYTTER NEXT WK SUSAHI SAUID aas IAU WHELAN"

"Get off his back! He's better than that old English player you like!"

"Struggling to settle in? His pass completion shits on your favourite player"

"The manager knows what he's doing. The signing will win us trophies!"

"Have faith in the guy, but lets put him on the bench for a bit"

"Hi @NewSigning Can you follow us back as we fruitlessly try to interview you?"

"I've joined UKIP in protest"

Making sure you put enough batteries in your Zoom Mic

Finding an opposition fan to scream obscenities at

Loading up your spreadsheets so you can monitor when each corner occurs.

Crossing your fingers that your stream doesn't shut down at 2.59pm

At the ground by 12. Pints in Delilahs, and lucky SCFC pants

Get to the ground at about 2.30, maybe have a pint if there isn't a queue.

"Interesting opinion. Can't say I agree, why do you think that?"

"Actually, I wrote a blog about this..."

"SOME FAN YOU ARE. WERE YOU THERE IN LEAGUE THREE I WAS?"

Quote tweet them with a cry laugh emoji and call them 'yer da'

Insert a graphic with a lot of squares on it

You've been banned from Twitter

I fave and RT a bunch of tweets that suit my agenda

Squawka, StatsZone, anything with CHARTS

I'll listen to my own podcast over and over again

RADIO STOKE. IT'S FOR STOKIES.

Probably just Match of the Day before bed

It doesn't matter, I've just woken up in hospital

The scar you got headbutting a police horse at Villa away

A few shirts from recent seasons, all with a flair player's name on the back

A few shirts and programmes. I don't go mad because it's expensive

I actually sell my own Stoke-related merch. Haha deploy ngoy amirite?

Larus Sigurdsson is chained up in my dungeon

A DVD of Stoke's greatest ever short corners