What Mistake Will You Make This Green Key?
What Mistake Will You Make This Green Key?
Green Key 2015.
Songs will be sung, shoes will be lost, basements will be filled with drunk alumni, boots will be rallied, T-Pain will fall in love with a stripper and you will inevitably make at least one terrible mistake. Take this quiz to find out what it'll be!
Green Key 2015.
Songs will be sung, shoes will be lost, basements will be filled with drunk alumni, boots will be rallied, T-Pain will fall in love with a stripper and you will inevitably make at least one terrible mistake. Take this quiz to find out what it'll be!
Choose a type of fry:
What are you most excited to do this Green Key?
Which animal would be most badass to keep as a pet?
What concert are you most amped for?
What sucks most about you?
Are you Bed, Bath or Beyond?
You will lose at least one toe nail to a T-Pain concert/ flip flop related situation
You will lose at least one toe nail to a T-Pain concert/ flip flop related situation
Being in the middle of a T-Pain concert is like swaying back and forth in an autotuned meat locker. Protect yourself — only the strong survive.
You will burn out early, like a giant, hot, white star
You will burn out early, like a giant, hot, white star
You will start Green Key on a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. You will tell yourself that you are the Forrest Gump of partying, able to boot and rally until you've ripped holes in your shoes and grown a beard that reaches past your third flannel button.
By Friday night, you will be curled in bed, plaintively humming along to T-Pain from your Gold Coast window.
You will fall asleep in a frat basement
You will fall asleep in a frat basement
You're not mistaken in thinking that this is the worst option. Congratulations, really. Your debauchery is unparalleled. Now burn all of your clothes.
Your sloppy dance floor makeout will turn out to be an '18
Your sloppy dance floor makeout will turn out to be an '18
or if you are an '18 yourself, a visiting younger sibling. Or a townie. But regret has no place at Green Key. Swish, spit and rally, my friend.
You will attempt one of the Dartmouth Seven at an ill-advised hour
You will attempt one of the Dartmouth Seven at an ill-advised hour
Really, this could be any hour. Maybe you'll drop trou on the President's Lawn as Hanlon is taking a left turn into the driveway. Maybe you'll wander into the BEMA as a horde of sober people are star gazing. Maybe you'll try to check off the Green or steps of Dartmouth Hall literally at any time this weekend. Be smart this weekend. Go for the stacks.
You will miss your chance to vault onstage and maul new, soulful Penn Badgley while shouting "Lonely boy!"
You will miss your chance to vault onstage and maul new, soulful Penn Badgley while shouting "Lonely boy!"
There will literally never be a better chance for you to say "xoxo" to a member of the Gossip Girl cast. But, sadly, you will sleep past 5 p.m. on Friday (blame pop punk) and be forced to live a life full of regret.