Bunking Off Work Excuse Generator

Act really flustered on the phone. The panic will catch on and your boss will leave you to it. Roughly twenty minutes later, you'll get a call back, but ignore it. You are too busy to answer.

Keep things really vague, as though you're embarrassed about the situation. Flush the toilet while you're on the phone and things should wrap up pretty quickly after that.

Don't go too heavy, but just casually remind your boss that nothing really matters anyway because we're all going to die in the end. He/she might even take a few days off work spurred on by your bravery.

Your boss doesn't need to know that the death is your patience for the idiots that you have to work with every day. It's a death, regardless. Act kind of sad when you return to work, but don't give any further details.

Far be it from you to disobey the advice of a futuristic professional. That fortune teller turned over the death card and said you should take the day, if not a week off work. Surely your boss won't want your blood on his/her hands.

Classic bloody luck! You were all dressed up and ready for work when you were faced with a ladder spread right over the front door. You can't walk through it because then your whole family will die within 3-5 working days. Best sit this one out.

It was a once in a lifetime dream, you were a billionaire and had just met the love of your life. No job should stand in the way between you and true love. That's just not right. You will return to work once matters have been seen to.

Your boss doesn't necessarily need to know that your allergies consist solely of work. You've been having a bad reaction to it lately and need a day or two to clear your head and recalibrate things, such as finding a better job.