20 Things We Learned About Jim Gaffigan

"If I was crispy"

"I never thought that I would be a comedian who would be so autobiographical, but I find it funny and it keeps me less self-centered."

Q: "What is the best dipping sauce? I can't get it right."
A: "It depends on the item. Onion rings should be dipped in blue cheese, ketchup is always a good go-to."

Letterman, Bill Murray, George Carlin, Carol Burnett are counted among his inspirations.

"I kind of outed myself as Catholic and then there was an article in the Washington Post identifying me as the leader of a new Evangelist movement. It was pretty hysterical."

Q: "What kind of sunscreen do you use to keep your flawlessly white complexion?"
A: "SPF-Flannel"

"It drives me crazy when people chew with their mouths open, even though I think I might do it. My one goal as a father is to make sure my children don't chew with their mouth open and to learn their names."

"Stand up comedy is unique in that it's a meritocracy, unlike the other BS of the entertainment industry you can control your own destiny by just working hard and having a little luck."

Q: "What's your advice on breaking into the male model industry?"
A: "Be sexy."

"Hot Pockets changed my life, but yes 2 or 3 times a day a stranger, or even someone I know, will say Hot Pockets to me. It's very similar to when your uncle does an inside joke that you're rather tired of but you politely nod."

"It would be one of the highest honors. It would have to have bacon in it. I would name it 'Fat Dad"'"

Q: "If you forgot your long-sleeve sun shirt at the beach this summer, how long could a person stare at you before going blind?"
A: "Maybe 30 seconds, depending if they're wearing sunglasses

"This is the Golden Age of stand up. When I started, it was all weirdos and derelicts. Now most comedians went to a little Ivy university."

Q: "Which do you have more of -- kids or red sneakers?"
A: "I haven't talked to my wife in an hour, it might be more kids."

"Jeannie and our 5 kids on a tour bus. The tour bus will be wrapped with a picture of my face. Interestingly enough, the image is the same size as my actual head."

I had a dad bod before people tried to manufacture that it was "okay to have a dad bod."

Jeannie and I (my wife and writing partner) wrote 10 episodes that are very personal and shows that we would want to watch. The premise of the show is my life.

Q: "Is there any type of food that you won't joke about, or is nothing too taboo for you?"
A: "I don't believe in censorship, but obviously I would never talk about the sacred breakfast sausage patty."

"Being awkward on stage is a benefit - people respond to vulnerability. "

"I just do what Jesus tells me"