What is your conflict resolution style?
What is your conflict resolution style?
There are 5 major styles of resolving conflicts and today when conflict can arise at any given corner, it helps to know what resolution style you are. Learning how to communicate in relationships is already hard enough, learning how to resolve conflict together is a big step to making sure communication does not become a long-term issue.
There are 5 major styles of resolving conflicts and today when conflict can arise at any given corner, it helps to know what resolution style you are. Learning how to communicate in relationships is already hard enough, learning how to resolve conflict together is a big step to making sure communication does not become a long-term issue.
When someone interrupts you while you are speaking, do you:
When you don't like something that someone else does to you, do you-
Whose fault is it, when there is a misunderstanding, especially when you know you communicated very clearly:
You're about to go out to dinner, but your friends want sushi and you want steak, do you:
You just got married and are about to buy a home with your spouse, but he/she wants the privacy and ownership of a house and you want the convenience of a condo, do you:
When you catch someone in a 'white' lie, do you:
How do you view conflict?
You are a collaborator
You are a collaborator
You are a collaborator. You always look for the win-win. You know that even though it may take some time, you can't stand the thought of someone having to lose face. Collaboration requires great courage and much consideration as well as, creativity. You know how to listen and you do it well. You're not the type to listen just to find a reply and this also makes you compassionate. When you resolve a conflict you are thinking about your wants and needs, but you're also thinking of the wants and needs of the other party too. Collaborators are usually admired and well-respected.
You are a compromiser
You are a compromiser
You like to compromise, which is a huge step towards resolving conflict. It takes a lot of courage and consideration to be able to compromise with someone else. You probably have been told all along that compromise was a good way to resolve conflict, so when you have to lose face, you chalk it up as part of the 'game.' You are an excellent negotiator and are able to prioritize your wants and needs so that you can find the perfect solution both parties can agree to. You tend to focus on the big picture, so losing face over small things is not an issue for you. When under stress and things aren't going exactly your way, you may turn to using passive-aggressive tactics and manipulation to get what you need. You don't have a lot of patience when conflict arises, so this is quick and fast fix for you. Try taking a step back and finding more creative ways to solve conflict where both you and the other party get everything you want and need.
You are an accommodator
You are an accommodator
You are a peacemaker at heart. You strive to be considerate of other people's thoughts and views, even to your own detriment. You don't want to fight, but accommodating is also not the easy way out either. Accommodators are usually very empathetic and an uncanny knack for putting themselves in the other person's shoes. You know that sometimes it's important to let others have a win, or two, or three, or 100. Nevertheless, you let them win, because it's the nice thing to do, for them. The problem is that you often neglect yourself the most and one day, you won't want to give in. When that happens, you may find yourself backed so far in a corner that amicable resolution is no longer an option. Yes, saying no is not always easy, but it is necessary sometimes. We appreciate your thoughtfulness and kindness, but we want your authentic opinion more than that. Anyone who doesn't want your needs and wants met as well, should not have a place in your life.
You prefer to avoid conflict
You prefer to avoid conflict
Examples of avoiding conflict include, stonewalling, shutting down, giving 'yes' or 'ok' answers just because you want the situation to be over. It's not that you don't want to resolve conflict, its that after a certain point you lose interest. To the other party it appears that you don't care to be involved or do the work necessary to grow from conflict, the reality is that you were emotionally triggered and need some space to decompress. Here's the thing, sometimes, conflict is unavoidable, and just like a seedling has to push through the soil to get to the sun, sometimes you have to get uncomfortable to get back comfortable again in order to grow. Avoiding conflict is a good way to keep the peace, but shutting down or stonewalling a person gets nothing accomplished but more confusion and miscommunication. So, take all the time you need, but when you're done, please come outside and play.
You stand your ground
You stand your ground
You will do anything to win this competition. You don't care what the person has to offer, all you care about is winning. A wise person once asked- which is better? Happiness? Or being right? Well, you are still trying to find the answer to that question. Standing your ground can be courageous, but it is often not kind or respectful. When you compete with others to be heard, all that is created is a din so loud, no one hears and nothing is resolved. There are other ways to get your side of the story heard, but it starts with being quiet and listening to the other party first.
Standing your ground may seem like the strong thing to do, but it often reveals someone who is angry. Upstream from anger is sadness. So the next time you feel the need to stand your ground, ask yourself is there a better way to solve this? How can I solve this conflict today and still be great?