Model Employee Or Office Jerk?

With so many pressures, it can be tough to stay honest, loyal and friendly on the job. Are you a shining beckon of hope for your fellow employees, the office clown, the brown-noser, the whorish lush, or the jerk they'd like to send up the river? Find out with this quiz!

Tylers Choice
Created By Tylers Choice
On Apr 27, 2015

Your coworker in the cubicle next to you has an annoying habit of speaking very loudly on the phone, often taking personal phone calls. He/she has a somewhat abrasive personality and isn't particularly well liked in the office. How do you handle the situation?

You have been asked to organize a party for your department (about 30 or so people). You've been given a significant budget to do so. How would you go about this?

Your boss (whom you've always found attractive) calls you into his/her office on a night you're both working late and touches you in a sexual manner. What do you do?

You overhear a juicy piece of gossip about a manager at your company. Apparently the man has been sleeping with multiple women in all different departments. This particular manger is not in your department but you know he is cool with your direct supervisor. What do you do?

You've been assigned to work on a project with two coworkers, both of whom are kind of lazy. You know in order for this project to be successful you will have to take on the lion's share of the work. What do you do?

A coworker whom you get along well with has a birthday coming up. This person is a bit on the shy and reserved side. What do you do?

Which of the following do you value most in a boss?

You are working late. Almost everyone in the office has long been gone. You walk in on two employees (neither of whom you know very well) having sex. They do not see you. What do you do?

You are way too overworked. Your department has been short on staff and much of the workload has fallen into your lap. You don't know how much longer you can go on this way. What do you do?

Your eight year old daughter has landed the lead in her school play. Unfortunately you have been asked to handle overseas business the week of her performance. You've already missed her big soccer game and her school pageant, and your spouse has been complaining about how much you've been away. But this account is very important to your company. How do you handle the situation?

You are an office manager who has fallen hard for one of your employees. He/she feels the same about you, but company policy dictates managers may not fraternize sexually with employees who work directly under them. What do you do?

You've discovered that a coworker with whom you have a cordial relationship with has been stealing office supplies in bulk. As a matter of fact you catch them red-handed! What do you do?

Model Employee

Model Employee

Not only are you an exceptionally honest, loyal and hardworking employee, but you are also friendly, social and a pleasure to work with. Others tend look to you for guidance and you help keep company morale high. Keep up the good work!

Office Whore

Office Whore

You see life as a chessboard and you do whatever (or whomever) it takes to win the game. Fraternization on the job isn't necessarily a bad thing; by definition humans are social creatures, not robots. But you take it to the extreme! Your coworkers think you're shallow and manipulative, have zero respect for you, and enjoy gossiping about you in the company lounge. You are developing a horrible reputation that may follow you for the rest of your professional life. Stop showing so much cleavage (or chest hair), keep your legs closed/zipper down, and focus on being an honest, hardworking employee.

Office Clown

Office Clown

You're funny, witty, entertaining and interested in letting the world know it. That's not necessarily a bad thing, and yes the world needs a little laughter sometimes, but only in reasonable doses. Your coworkers appreciate (sometimes) your goofiness, but wish you'd take off the clown nose now and then and actually do your job. Bringing others joy is great, but remember first and foremost you're there to do a job. Take care of your responsibilities first and facilitate the twerking contests on your own time.

Company Know-It-All

Company Know-It-All

You have been gifted with great intelligence and are not shy about letting the world know it. The problem is the world (your coworkers) don't want to hear it. They want to get through the day peacefully and drama-free. They do not want to be constantly corrected. They don't want to endure having to listen to you list all your accomplishments. And they don't want to be treated as inferior just because you happen to be a little more talented or better at your job than they are. Use your powers for good. Keep your comments positive and productive. Respectfully offer your assistance instead of imposing it. Quit it with the thinly veiled put-downs. The last thing you want is your coworkers to rally against you, despite how awesome and "wonderful" you think you are.

Office Gossip

Office Gossip

Let's face it, a bit of juicy gossip is sometimes just the thing to brighten up a dull day- especially in the workplace. To a point that is. There are limits to what you should and shouldn't say and to whom you should and shouldn't say it to. Remember: entire empires have been brought low because of loose lips. You don't want to be the loose one. You want your coworkers to see you as someone honest, dependable and loyal. Try to keep your conversations and your gossip positive. Instead of focusing on who is sleeping with whom, accentuate your coworkers accomplishments. Talk about a new baby on the way and parenting tips. Talk about an exciting new project your boss is working on. Just please, try to keep it out of the gutter and focus on the things that actually concern you.

Office Doormat

Office Doormat

Ah, the pitiable doormat. On the one hand you are dependable, hardworking and honest-- traits any company would find desirable. On the other hand you're weak-willed, easily taken advantage of, naive, and cave in to undue pressure. Lacking a backbone has been a lifelong problem for you and because of this you suffer in the workplace: taking on the responsibilities of others, covering for the mistakes of lazy coworkers and working long hours for insufficient pay. Fortunately these problems are imminently fixable. First, don't be afraid to be disliked by some people. A friend to everyone is a friend to no one. Learn to say no (respectfully). Don't be afraid to speak to your boss about new opportunities (Managers often look favorably on employees who take the initiative). If you are being harassed, yes, go to a superior or human resources. And if necessary (perhaps with the help of a councilor) take the time to find out why you tolerate being treated so badly in the first place!

Office Goof-Off

Office Goof-Off

It is important to take time out to relax and enjoy life. It is also important not to do this on the job. That's what breaks and lunch hours are for. You are on the clock and are expected to do your job. If there is nothing for you to do at the moment, ask a coworker if you can help them with a project or ask your boss for additional duties. There's always something to do. If you happen not to like your job, don't punish your company because they had the gall to hire you. Work on your resume, seek new exciting opportunities, just don't break the fundamental agreement your company made with you when they took you on. They pay, you work.

Office Brown-Noser

Office Brown-Noser

There's a fine line between performing well for the sake of your company and sucking hard on your superiors' collective behinds. The difference lies in your motivations. You see your self worth in terms of the title you have on your company identification card. Not a good way to perceive things. There's nothing wrong with ambition but do you really feel you must be fake and sniveling in order to climb the ladder? The key to success on the job (at least ideally) is hard work, consistency, ability and dependability. A good company will have constructs in place to identify as well as cultivate stellar employees. Yes, office politics come into play. Yes, some bosses frequently play favorites. Yes, there will be instances you will sit back and watch someone get a promotion or accolades they don't deserve. But keep the faith. Work on doing your job and doing it excellently. Let your work, not your puckered lips, represent your true value. It's not always an easy road but in the long run it is the most rewarding.