Which Pakistani Politikitty Are You?

Intelligent and well-educated, but not attention-whorey enough to succeed.

Scared, confused and constantly searching the conference hall for the snack table.

Boy scout type earnestness and also a very low IQ.

Natural charisma and the obsolete ability to actually care about your country.

Flashing a benign, brain-dead smile at foreign diplomats as you beg for foreign aid.

Bully people into listening to you.

Like a goddamn LION. OR TIGER. You honestly don’t know the difference between the two.

A newborn, helpless Persian.

Any of the predatory felines.

A fat overfed lazy grumpy house cat with doting slave-like owners.

A slinky Siamese.

An actual lion.

Camo pants. Nothing gets attention like camo pants.

You’ll wear a funny hat and will also have a slight halo.

You will become the butt of so many jokes that the entire nation will know you, because they all laugh at you.

You will somehow end up a murder suspect in a REALLY high profile assassination.

You’ll scream in a gurgling high-pitched voice and demand people’s dead bodies be presented to you in a convenient package. On national television.

You’ll marry a really hot woman.

You’re not cute, you are serious and authoritative.

You smile a lot, like a teenage girl in love, except your wife is dead so it’s probs because you’re thinking about your money.

Casually alter the map of the world teehee.

You don’t have any cute habits everyone thinks everything you do is obscenely dumb.

When you get excited, your chubby fat rolls wiggle.

You actually think your existence can make a difference. AWWWW.

On a giant pile of money.

Sucking your thumb. You are a big baby.

Clutching a firearm. Everyone here is out to get you.

You never sleep you are all watching all seeing.

In a rich bachelor pad.

Your body fills up two king sized beds.