Which Ariana Grande Apology Are You?
Which Ariana Grande Apology Are You?
Ariana Grande licked some donuts and then slandered America. Her apology, though, was amazing.
Ariana Grande licked some donuts and then slandered America. Her apology, though, was amazing.
You're a former Olympian who's decided he wants to be a woman. How do you respond to the haters?
You just got busted for deleting untold numbers of files that were under subpoena. How do you respond?
You sneak attacked Pearl Harbor and now the Americans are pissed. What do you say to make them back down?
It turns out you were spending insane amounts of money on hookers, and people are demanding answers. What do you tell them?
You accused the only black Supreme Court justice of being a race traitor and a "clown in black face" and people are not happy about it. What's your response?
You told people that if they liked their doctor, they could keep their doctor, even though you knew that was a lie. What will you tell them to make this controversy go away?
You're a white person who pretended to be a black person for something like 10 years. Everyone says you're insane. What do you say?
You licked a bunch of donuts you didn't buy, and then said you hated America. WTF is wrong with you?
I've always made it clear that I love my county
I've always made it clear that I love my county
You're the type of person who, no matter what, wants the world to know that you love your county. Not your city. Not your town. Not your state. Your county. You f***ing love your county.
What I said in a private moment with my friend, who was buying the donuts, was taken out of context
What I said in a private moment with my friend, who was buying the donuts, was taken out of context
Good for you. When you find yourself in a jam, the first thing you do is let the world know that it was your friend who was buying the donuts. Get in their faces. Make sure they understand your donut licking was totally taken out of context.
Food is very important to me
Food is very important to me
You understand that your job is to answer the question you wish they asked, not the one they actually asked. And the question that you're always ready to knock out of the park is obviously, "Is food important to you?"
I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things
I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things
Hey, you're not alone. You know that when you're in a crisis, the first thing to do is identify with the audience. Who isn't upset by how Americans consume and eat?
The fact that the United States has the highest childhood obesity rate in the world frustrates me
The fact that the United States has the highest childhood obesity rate in the world frustrates me
You are nothing if not quick on your feet. When accused of a crime, no matter how heinous, everyone knows that an instant get-out-of-jail-free card is expressing frustration with childhood obesity. You nailed it, sister. Now get outta here and go lick some donuts. It's a free country, after all.
I should have known better in how I expressed myself
I should have known better in how I expressed myself
What you lack in understanding of basic grammar, you more than make up for with your passionate remorse. Heck, you were so passionate and remorseful that you didn't even have time to copy-edit that train wreck of an apology. Good for you. Those jerks should of found someone else to pick on.