El Impactante significado detrás de tu Horóscopo

All these namby pamby personality tests and horoscopes give sweet, caring answers that just pour on the compliments. This is not that kind of quiz. Find out the TRUE meaning behind your horoscope!

High Times Magazine
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Elegir 16 may 2017

Pasas mucho tiempo sola

Sientes un sentido de lealtad a las personas que te criaron

Eres una persona de gatos o perros?

Cuanto te importa el dinero

Te importa si alguien te llama raro

Eres un lider por naturaleza

Vas en contra de la corriente

Cuando es tu cumpleaños

Cuando es tu cumpleaños

Scorpio: Obsessive Twat

Scorpio: Obsessive Twat

Your constant quest for inner meanings and attitude of self-superiority is super annoying. If you keep following your gut, you'll follow it off a cliff. Another thing, stop thinking that all your little ideas are related somehow. They aren't. Sometimes things exist on their own in this world. Not everything has a deeper meaning and there is no solution to life. Stop acting like a wise guru and start taking action. Seriously, you're just embarrassing yourself.

Aquarius: Perverted Psycopath

Aquarius: Perverted Psycopath

You just love taking things apart and seeing how they tick. I hear meth addicts and serial killers are also like that. Hope you're proud of your freaky habits. You're creepy with how thoughtful you are. You want to get the bottom of every problem, but guess what? There isn't a solution for everything. Try relaxing for once in your life.

Leo: Egotistical Douchebag

Leo: Egotistical Douchebag

You're the boss. And by that I mean that people always feel pressured to hang out with you and feel uneasy in your company. You're strong and powerful in presence, but not everything is a challenge, ya know. Sometimes you can just have fun. Do you know what fun is? I thought not.

Taurus: Stubborn Asshole

Taurus: Stubborn Asshole

You're stuck in your ways, admittedly. You do what you've always done and you do it how you always have. You will teach your children to be just like you, and the cycle goes around and around. Adventure? Nah. You'd rather waste time making a beautiful home that you will die without. You judge things based on your own experiences, and that isn't always valid. Try leaving the house for once.

Cancer: Moody Jerk

Cancer: Moody Jerk

You're messy. You're lazy. You are SUPER MOODY! You may have a few things sorted out, but don't worry: they'll become disorganized eventually. Also, don't forget to drop that project you started. It's not going anywhere. You have a lot of ideas, but, NEWS FLASH: they're just ideas and they probably always will be. Unless you get off your butt and step away from this computer, you'll end up nowhere.

Pisces: Whiny Bimbo

Pisces: Whiny Bimbo

You believe in the truth. You believe in both mercy and justice... You are a really naive individualist, you know that? Peace on earth and goodwill toward men is all fine and good, but when the real action starts you won't be anywhere to be found. You'll be found lying on your bedroom floor and crying while you listen to depressing music. If you want to change the world, actually do something with yourself.

Capricorn: Greedy Emo

Capricorn: Greedy Emo

Aww, look at widdle ol' you! You just love to love people, covering them in kisses and hugs and making them dinner and looking through their trash... You're a smotherer. You're a stalker. And when your feelings are hurt, you make other people hurt. You attend to social graces but have very little grace when someone hurts your sensitive feelings. Back off.

Libra: Flaky Derelict

Libra: Flaky Derelict

You LOVE people. YOU LOVE THEM. You love to make people laugh, but you're kinda in everyone's face. Your charm will only take you so far, friend. Your rambunctious attitude actually puts people off. Your "lol random" demeanor does not convince anyone that you're random or fun... they'll try to avoid you. Give people space. And for the love of God, enough puns!

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