Which Easter Egg FAIL are you?

Decorating Easter Eggs is an art. It takes true talent, skill and patience. Something none of these people have. Sure, some are worse than others, but which Easter Egg FAIL are you?

Susie Hume
Created By Susie Hume
On Apr 19, 2014

Do you have children?

Are you religious?

Pick a craft.

Pick your ideal date.

Pick a phone/desktop wallpaper.

Pick a word that describes you.

Pick a typeface.

Pick your favorite social media account.

Pick a glitter.

What does FAIL mean to you?

The "Hipster brown eggs and natural dye" FAIL

The "Hipster brown eggs and natural dye" FAIL

Do you even see what you did here? These eggs are gross. They look more like body parts with the skin removed than eggs. Why do you have to mess with time-tested traditions like chemical dyes and genetically-enhanced eggs with your organic, natural, hipster ways? You probably wear Keens and drive a Subaru. Or you live in Portland.

The "Pinterest told me to do it" FAIL

The "Pinterest told me to do it" FAIL

So, you're scrolling through Pinterest and you see decoupage eggs and you think, "Hey, I can cut paper and use glue. I'm gonna make those!" STOP. Just because you have the picture and the instructions doesn't make you a decoup-artist. The sad thing is you probably don't even think this is a fail. You probably saw this and thought, "Hey, not bad!" That's how low the bar is you've set for yourself in life.

The "WTF happened here?"

The "WTF happened here?"

So, you read something online that said "Use Cool Whip to create cool, fun Easter Eggs," and you figured you would give it a try with the kiddies. Now little Bobby is running around the house on a sugar high, licking Cool Whip off the walls and poor little Sally had a fit and now she's gone rogue and she's mixing ALL the colors with her hands in a vat of Cool Whip and throwing them AT YOUR FACE. You didn't just fail at eggs, you failed at parenthood.

The "I just vomited in my mouth a little" FAIL

The "I just vomited in my mouth a little" FAIL

I can't even...I don't know...I mean, wha??? What is all that orange goop? Why is it leaking? Were you trying to decorate the eggs or is this some contemporary art installation making a comment on the current state of Easter celebration? You try too hard. At everything. At life. And you FAIL. You were probably taught to "go big or go home." Well, it's time to go home.

The "Yeah, my kids totally made these" FAIL

The "Yeah, my kids totally made these" FAIL

I see what happened here. You and the misses/mister decided you could plant the kids in the kitchen with the eggs and a bunch of dye while the two of you relaxed with some wine by the fireplace in the other room. It seemed like a smart idea at the time, but then you came into the kitchen to find SMURFS instead of children. But you were drunk and didn't care. This isn't a fail, it's a WIN!

The "What could go wrong if I use EVERY color? FAIL"

The "What could go wrong if I use EVERY color? FAIL"

If at first you don't succeed, keep trying, right? RIGHT? That's what you said after you dipped the egg in the 15th color in front of you, only to realize they kept getting uglier and uglier. And then you did the same thing with the other 11 eggs. And you even put them back in the carton as if you may at some point choose to display your failure to the world. Close the lid, my friend. Grab a tissue. It will be ok.

The "Too perfect to fail" FAIL

The "Too perfect to fail" FAIL

You're the person who posts your beautiful, immaculate designs all over Pinterest and Instagram with things like "Follow these simple instructions" and getting hundreds of people's hopes up that they can do the same thing. Then you sit and laugh looking at all of their failed attempts and feel all high and mighty. You are the villain of the internet. Or Martha Stewart.