What lessons about sex do you need the most?
Sex is complicated. There is a lot of information out there about consent and healthy relationships, but what matters most for you? Take our quiz to find out your sex personality and what you need to know
You approach sex like a hunter. In terms of consent, this means that you can be so focused on sealing the deal that you miss signs that your partner isn't as excited as you are. Being in charge is cool as long as your partner is ok with it. Check in often with new people, and make sure you establish a clear word or sign that they can use to let you know they're not into it. Remember, you're in charge, so they might not speak up right away. You need to let them know it's ok.
You don't like to talk about sex. Whether it's because you think it ruins the mood or because you're just really shy, you want your partner to pay attention to your body language to know what you want. This could get you into trouble because body language is unclear and easy to misinterpret. If you know you don't like to talk during sex, muster up the courage to let new partners know that before you have your clothes off, so you can work out non-verbal "stop" and "more" signals.
You're usually up for whatever your partner is up for. Either because you don't know what you like or because you get off on being submissive. It's important to know the difference. If you like it when you're partner is in charge, make sure you have a safe word. If you don't know what you want, or don't really like sex that much, try telling your partner that so you can experiment. If you don't like sex, that's cool, too. Just make sure you tell your partners.
You want to have sex, but are kind of scared of it. It's possible that you've been hurt before or have a history of abuse. Take care of yourself so that you can calm down and enjoy yourself. It's ok to not have sex for a while until you can find someone you can trust to work with you and make sure that you're comfortable. Sex should be fun, so stop whatever you're doing and regroup if it isn't.
You don't have too much experience, so you don't really know that much about what you or your partner like. That's fine! Just know that sex in real life isn't like you see on TV or the internet. Those depictions are fantasies for people who realize that sex involves a lot of talking and working things out. Check in with your partner to see how they feel. It can be really scary to speak up, so give them a chance and make sure you're both having a good time. Have fun!
Communication Rock Star
Communication Rock Star
You value good communication and being in tune with your partner. If you are with someone new, don't feel shy about asking them if there are any deal-breakers up front. It's never fun to find those moments in the middle of an encounter.