High Tech Job Application IQ Test

We are seeking bright individuals to join our company. These questions dive deep into your psyche to determine if you are a good match. Your answers allow us to identify the really smart people that we would be proud to add to our roster. Big money may come your way!

Floyd Kelly
Created By Floyd Kelly
On Aug 29, 2018
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WARNING:
These questions
dive deep into your psyche.
Have you taken this test
before?

Are you in a quiet and comfortable place?

If not, make it so.

The purpose of this test is to identify the top candidates for secret job placements and recruitment.

If you do not pass this test, it does not mean you are not smart.

If you were given
1 million in your currency;
what would you do with it?

Are you easily offended?

What number is underlined below?

7

Do you have a very strong obsession with the collection of plastic spray bottles?

When you look in the mirror,
does your reflection
appear chaotic
and then your reflection disappears into a blue haze?

0 x 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 x 0

Barry likes berry.
Gary likes Sherry.

Is Lilie like Mary?

Select one of the statements below that you think seems true.

Do you have a secret obsession with purple baubles?

Have you experienced more than
150 violent psychotic episodes
in the past week?

Are you terrified of garlic?

Do you have a secret yearning
for black capes
and very tall castles?

Do you think eggplant is
an alien food?

0001 000_ 0003
0004 0005 0006

3233 323_ 3235
3236 3237 323_

It is good to dream.

Which of the following
best suits you?

Do you have a secret stash of frozen coffee popsicles?

Do you consider yourself
smart?

Which of the following best describes you at this moment?

Do you understand that
this is a real test?

1111 1111 1111
1111 1111 1111
1111 1111 1111
1111 ____ 1111

Do you ever dream
in
ASCII?

Code breaking is ...

Code breakers work long hours; things can get sweaty;
things can get hot.
You may need a cot.
Microwave ovens are in a separate room.

Do you own a tinfoil hat?

Did your great grandfather ever call you a freak?

0000 0000 0000 0000
0000 0000 0000 0000
/
1

8888 8888 8888 8888
8888 8888 8888 8888
x
0

You get your choice of statements below.

Which statement makes you feel happiness?

How tall are the people in your dreams?

Are you skilled at
controlling the expelling
of your body gases - without making any noise?

Which of the following best describes your situation at this moment in time?

Your boss is a gorgeous, tall, gay, hunky, well endowed, gigantic bodybuilder who is aroused.

You are alone with him at the office on Friday night and has his eyes on you. What do you do?

Do you have a very strong obsession with the collection of metallic chicken feet?

Select the title of a new book.

5555 5555 5555 5555
8888 8888 8888 8888
/
1*0*1

8888 8888 8888 8888
5555 5555 5555 5555
/
0*1*0

Which of the following best describes you?

How much time do you normally spend in the mornings pondering the thickness of tissues?

Which of the following is closest to the meaning of the word
"symmetry"?

We calculate a 42% chance you would do well working within our company.

Are you addicted to any of the following items?

Which of the following best describes you without coffee in the mornings?

Would you be willing to dress up in a giraffe costume and walk through the town square for a day?

Do you feel a strong
connection to NIBIRU?

When you smell chocolate candy, do you hallucinate dancing blue people off in the distance?

Does hearing any of the following words cause you physical pain?

I fall asleep easily while listening to heavy metal music
at 93% volume.

Which of the following describes you yesterday?

Does hearing any of the following words cause you to experience a physical reaction?

You still think this is a fake test, don't you?

Place an empty envelope to your forehead for 15 seconds.

Which of the following are you now hoping to receive as a present?

Now, place a pencil to your chin for 15 seconds.

Which of the following did you experience?

If a faint and very slight blemish appeared on your elbow; would you immediately cancel all your plans today and immediately schedule cosmetic surgery?

Does your hair hurt?

1111 1111 1111 1111
1111 1111 1111 1111
x
1
/
0

1111 1111 1111 1111
1111 1111 1111 1111
-
1
x
0

Do you take thousands of selfies for no reason?

Does your skin give off a toxic orange smoke when you get caught in the rain?

Which of the following statements applies to you?

As a "Thank You"
for applying to our company, we are giving you a present.

Which of the following items do you want to take home with you today?

We are feeling very generous, so choose another item you would like to take home with you today.

When did you last bathe or shower?

I like to show off my hot body in flamboyant style all around the office.

My goal is to show you some skin so you will do my work for me.

Did your grandmother's neighbor
ever call you a
tramp?

Do you consider yourself an extremely vindictive person?

What is the proper cooking time for delicious southern-style
deep-fried cotton candy?

How many times have you been slapped in the face by someone at a nightclub in the past 5 years?

How many times has any person yelled at you
in the past year?

What was the score on your last
Progressive Matrices Test?

Do you enjoy casting spells and curses on people?

Have you ever cast a spell or curse on a previous co-worker?

Based on your answers, you may qualify for one of our high-profile jobs where you are assigned a 24/7 security detail.

These are high-wage jobs.

All of our high-tech security detail identify as gay.
This is intentional to avoid certain bad things.

Based on this, do you want to opt-out of possible jobs requiring a 24/7 security detail?

Do you have excessive dreams of the Olde World?

Have you ever stolen your
co-worker's sandwich?

Which of the following statements suits you the best?

Which of the following planets would you like to migrate to next summer?

We are calculating your answers.

Meanwhile, which of the following best suits you at this very moment in time?

There is a 66% chance that you are a good fit within our company.

Is it wrong to nickname a
co-worker instead of referring to his/her real name?

Do you have a very strong attraction and heretical obsession with the collection of lederhosen?

Do you bathe yourself in cologne or perfume before going to work?

Are you hoping for a future utopia?

Do you experience any of the following during a full moon?

Has any of the following ever happened to you?

Your co-worker tells you that she uses her sex skills to entice people to do her work.
Those people are already over worked.

What do you do?

Your co-worker is having a bad day and throws his tuna sandwich at you and stains your nice shirt.

What happens next?

Did your brother's co-worker's aunt's neighbor ever call you a pathological liar?

Are you available for
immediate relocation?

Do you have a current membership with any of the following organizations?

Do you have any of the following debilitating addictions that may prevent you from performing your assigned duties?

Last question ... whew!

Do you want our security detail to collect and rescue you when the apocolypse begins?

Fantabulous!

Your score indicates you would be a good match in our company.

Success Grade: A5

Fantabulous!

Your score indicates you would be a good match in our company.

Success Grade: A5

FANTABULOUS! Your score indicates you would be a good match in our company. We will send our security detail to collect you when the time arises. You will receive a phone call 1 hour prior to collection. Feel proud, this was a difficult test.

Blimey!

Although you may be smart,
you still need to do some
studying; our company has strict protocols. Apply again.

Success Grade: C8

Blimey!

Although you may be smart,
you still need to do some
studying; our company has strict protocols. Apply again.

Success Grade: C8

BLIMEY! Although you may be really smart, you still need to do some studying; our company has strict protocols. You can still seek a job in the high technology though. This was a difficult test. Thank you for taking the test and have a grand day!

Flummoxed!

After calculating your answers,
it seems you currently
are just discovering pumpkin bread.

Success Grade: F4

Flummoxed!

After calculating your answers,
it seems you currently
are just discovering pumpkin bread.

Success Grade: F4

FLUMMOXED! After calculating your answers, it seems you currently are just discovering pumpkin bread. We do not see a need for your skills at this time, but we will put your cyberprint into our database. Thank you for taking this test and have a great day!

Test #42.2 High Tech Job Application IQ Test