Which Wittman Are You?
Which Wittman Are You?
Money, Power, Drugs & Wittman
Money, Power, Drugs & Wittman
Otto has just risked his life and saved your puppy that was stuck in a tree. What do you do?
Kevin Seraphin has been giving you lip all game because he hasn't shot one hook shot. What do you do?
The NBA is changing and those who don't change with it are left behind. What do you do to change with it?
The other team has just scored the go ahead field goal with .7 seconds left. Which one of these faces do you make?
You and Brad Stevens sit down for the afternoon where he asks you 100 questions but you only ask him one. What was the one question?
The other team has just gone on a 13-0 run and cut your lead to 5. What do you do?
You just came to the wrong fucking neighborhood Randy! What do you tell the guys to justify playing Drew Gooden 30 minutes tonight?
Ted & Ernie have called you upstairs and named you General Manager Coach. Who do you sign with your new power?
Mrs. Wittman is making you sleep on the couch tonight for not playing her favorite player Kelly Oubre in the last 2 weeks. What do you do?
5 Seconds left down 2. After you learn how to operate the whiteboard, what do you do draw up?
Kevin Durant is showing heavy interest of coming home to DC. What do you do to sell him on coming?
Who do you tell Bradley Beal to watch to take his game to the next level?
Marcin Gortat has parked his tank in your parking space for the 2nd time this week. What do you do?
You have planned a Team Bonding Trip and will be taking them out on the town tonight. Where will you be going?
The Wizards have been hit with the injury bug. Which one of these Randy's do you pick up on a 10 day contract?
Playoff Wittman
Playoff Wittman
We all have been doofenshmirtzed!!! When the postseason rolls around you become the love child of Greg Popovich and Phil Jackson. You come out for blood and job security and always walk away with the job security. The only kryptonite to you are broken wrists and clipboards.
Regular Season Wittman
Regular Season Wittman
You aren't good but you aren't bad enough to remind the owner that his basketball team sucks because of their coach. You are doing the bare minimum which is really enough to cut it. As long as you don't do something crazy like kill John Wall I purpose you'll be here next season...
Player Wittman
Player Wittman
You are the slightly more relatable Young Old School Wittman. Ball is Life is still your motto and how you solve your shit. Nick Young and Javale McGee are on your lawn? You don't yell at them and threaten to cut their minutes like Old Old School Wittman would. You wheel out your hoop, lace up your Chuck Taylors and posterize them into submission until they realized they messed with the wrong Wittman!
Unemployment Wittman
Unemployment Wittman
Your shit has finally caught up to you man. Year after year of long twos, Garrett Temple superstar treatment and more long twos isn't cutting it anymore. It's time for this divorce to happen. Hopefully you can bounce back on your feet before you become one of those crazy hobos on the street that offers basketball advice for crack.