Have You Ever Been Abducted by Aliens?

Catherine Maven
On Jun 2, 2017
Have you ever spent some time on a farm?Actually, I grew up on a farm.Is that what that picture is? That's a farm? (I always thought they had horses. Where are the horses?)Nope! The closest I've ever come to a farm was watching Green Acres!Have you ever seen something like this before?Yes, of course! They're all over the internet (I am so with it!)NO. Absolutely not. (And even if I had, I wouldn't be telling someone like YOU!)I know how to MAKE these!Do you sleep well at night?Sleep? Who can Sleep?Usually. I eat right, get an average amount of exercise, and try to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Why? Don't YOU?Yes, lucky me!Have you had some PRETTY WEIRD nightmares in your life?I don't remember. That's right, I don't remember, okay???Nope. I sleep like a baby. Well, not like a baby-baby - I mean, babies wake up crying every two hours, right?How did you know?Do you often dream of numbers?Yes, and I find it VERY satisfying for some reason. Why? Do you think that's important?I'm actually a mathematician. I ALWAYS dream of numbersAre you kidding?? I can barely add!Is this little girl safe?Please . . . Keep her the HECK AWAY from me!!Hey! That's MY daughter! Where have you been keeping her?No! Run away, little girl, RUN AWAY!Are you afraid of being under a Bright Light & having people with SHARP INSTRUMENTS all around you? Does it leave you with a feeling of HELPLESSNESS?. . . maybe a LITTLE ... No WAY! I am Fred/Frederina the Fearless!Well, duh.Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of a Super-Elite Military or Para-Military organization?Yes I am, and I'm god-darned PROUD of it!Maybe . . . I mean, NO. Why are you asking?No WAY! I'm a pacifist! (Look it up.)2nd to last one - keep going. Don't you think it's important for you to find the TRUTH? Here goes: Does this image look like a SPACE SHIP to you?I'm not sure . . . I think I don't have time to finish this quiz right now. It's not that I'm AFRAID or anything, I'm just SUPER busy!It's CG (I'm a geek, so I know these things)It's a Space Ship, alright. I oughta KNOW!Last question: Do you find yourself building spaceships compulsively, so much that even your kids are getting sick of them?Maybe. But honestly, I think I can stop any time I want to. I just don't WANT to right now, okay?There's NOTHING WRONG with building toy spaceships. I'm warding off Alzheimer's!Wow. You've got a POINT. It's TIME to get a LIFE!