Laurie Penny just told you to ‘Check your privilege’. You…
...Duly check your privilege and censor your speech
...Have to look up what ‘check your privilege’ means
...Laugh and shrug it off as nonsense
You think Emma Barnett is…
...A nice young lady with interesting views
...Clickbait and not to be taken seriously
...The best thing to happen to Woman’s Hour in ages
Your university pal is moaning about how she got groped when she walked home alone at midnight after a tarts and vicars themed college party. You…
...Wonder why she walked home dressed like that after midnight. Didn’t her mother teach her anything?
...Immediately log into Everyday Sexism to shame the culprits and expose this sexist outrage
...Make sympathetic noises
It’s bedtime and the kids are playing up. You…
...Lay down the law and hold your breath until your husband gets home – he’ll back you up and together you’ll get the kids in order
...Resolve to book a child psychologist to uncover the root of your child’s unhappiness
...Are still in the office, busy ‘having it all’. You haven’t done bedtime for years - that’s what nannies are for
You’re in church and the priest just gave a sermon about gay marriage and why the church thinks it’s wrong. You…
...Are pleased someone is finally saying it
...Storm out in disgust at this bigoted priest making sure everyone sees you leave, and post about it on facebook afterwards
...Mutter darkly that this is all a bit too political for church
Your daughter announces that she’s moving in with her boyfriend of six months. You…
...Ask her if she’s sure – isn’t it all a bit soon?
...Say “That’s great darling, think how much you’ll save on rent.”
...Tell her firmly that she’s a fool for giving her boyfriend everything he wants with no strings attached – she should hold out for marriage and if he’s too scared at the prospect then he isn’t man enough for your daughter
What are you doing reading The Conservative Woman? Get back to the Guardian comments section.
Your liberal hand-wringing is endearing but you need to read more Con Wom blogs and toughen up.
Congratulations, you’re a fully fledged Con Wom. Want to write for us?
If anyone’s going to define the new generation of conservative woman, it’s The Conservative Woman. So just how much of a Conservative Woman are you?