Which John Peter Sloan character are you?

You are from Manchester, England, a no-nonsense town where you worked hard for 45 years as a clerk in a hardware store...the send-off you got at your retirement party disappointed you, but you didn’t let it show, and you let it go...that was then, this is now. You’ve seen a lot of human behaviour, you’re savvy, even if you haven’t travelled much, though you wouldn’t mind going to Calais...where they jolly well still speak the Queen’s English...to take advantage of the annual sales. Your favourite things are doing crossword puzzles and listening to music, not necessarily in that order. You don’t care about being up-to-date in style. Comfort’s your game. You’re an old maid with no kids, but a romantic at heart, and would still like to find love.

You are from Bologna, and are an officially recognized Maniac Trainer, something you are quite proud of, considering that you barely finished high school, and that you were dreadful in English, but you want to get ahead, so you’ve made your mind up, and are studying English, good for you! You hope your child will follow in your career footsteps, someday. Your hobby is to cultivate black roses, yours have even won a few awards!, and your dream vacation would be to tour the world going to carnivals. You might even be able to make a few extra bucks at them scaring little old ladies AND getting paid for it, what could be better than that?!

You are a supermarket manager from London, rather set in your ways, though your puppy-like innocence is quite charming. You’ve been living with your mom ever since you were born, and don’t even realize that that might be a little limiting for a grown man. Never married and with no kids (doesn’t the first thing preclude the second?!), your hobby is to tidy up the kitchen cabinets. (No wonder you’re still single.)

You are from Cesano Maderno, even if you tell everyone that you’re from Milan. Deep down inside, you FEEL Milanese. You’re a personal assistant to the boss in a medium-sized company, but, hey, you’re not very ambitious...at work. Snagging a native English speaker for a husband would be just great...free English lessons and no pressure to cook just like an Italian mamma would. What if he wanted kids? The thought frightens you quite a lot...how would you fit back into your favourite vintage Chanel suit for which you searched so long and hard?!...but deep down the idea does appeal...for the future. As for vacations...are they paid?!

You married Pina, your high school sweetheart, right after the last school bell rang. You two tried to have kids, but they just didn't come, and you're both disappointed, but don't want to admit it to each other, for fear of hurting each other's feelings. After all, even if you pretend to be a sophisticated playboy, you really still love her...just no cuddling in public, please! You don't want to ruin your "been there, done that" worldly image (even if the pessimism is fake!).

You married Pino, your high school sweetheart, as soon as the last school bell rang. You two tried to have kids, but they just didn't come, and you're both disappointed, but haven't talked about it with each other for fear of hurting each other's feelings. Instead, you throw yourself so completely into life and its experiences with boundless enthusism that you manage to sweep others along with you on your beautiful flights of fancy. But those rose-colored glasses through which you see the world and your fellow human beings has blinded you to, ahhh, how to say it politely...your terrible taste in clothes. Oh well, you don't care what others think, anyway, do you?!