Which Disappointing Gift Should You Crochet For Your Mom For Christmas?

You probably have a terrible relationship with your mother, but it's also probably not completely your fault, so let's try to spread the holiday spirit (and by that we mean the overwhelming undercurrents of passive aggression and repressed rage) by crocheting a neat little Santa hat for dear old mom! She'll get plenty of use out of that!

Here's something your mom can actually use if she just so happens to love you or coffee enough to carry it around in her purse all the time. This environmentally friendly, reusable, and adorable coffee cozy will protect your mother's delicate hands from the minor burns that go with holding a coffee cup barehanded!

Does your mother value modesty above all else? Well, then she'll really appreciate this woolen dickie inspired by cowls that Anthropologie is trying to bring back. She'll keep warm and covered up with this enormous, somewhat itchy neck brace of love. Merry Christmas to the Queen Victoria in your life!

Why buy your mom expensive boat shoes she can actually get wet when you can make her weird knitted boat socks? Leaves definitely won't get stuck in them if she needs to wear them to get the mail. Yep. She'll totally love these boat shoes. (They're also actually quite cozy.)

Want to make it harder for your mom to locate and use her laptop? Make her a crocheted laptop cover! This laptop case is not actually protective, nor is it fully encapsulating, nor does it serve any actual purpose other than to keep your laptop, which probably already has overheating problems, nice and warm. Merry Freaking Christmas to you, mom.

You genuinely love your mother and want to spend lots of time on her gift even though you don't have lots of money. So crochet her a nice cozy blanket! If you start now, you should be able to finish it just in time for Christmas, and then it will keep her warm all winter long! But not as warm as the love from your heart!