Flight Attendants Share the Craziest Things They’ve Seen on Planes

Oh man. A passenger shit ON the toilet, not IN, ON. A passenger let her son shit IN the sink. A passenger left her kids dirty nappy in the seat pocket for us to find. A passenger vomited all over my exit door. A passenger handed back a warm towel after she wiped her sons ass with it to crew. A passenger pissed in a corner outside the toilet because we were landing and we told them to sit down and they couldn’t use the lavatory. The list goes on.. People can be really disgusting.

cabincrewlife

This seems to be the number one question I get asked and the short answer is yes they do. I have personally caught two women in the stall which we almost reported however after apologizing profusely we just gave them a stern talking. A colleague of mine had to report a woman traveling from Manchester that had sex with TWO men in a tag team style affair in the aircraft (one watched the door and went in after the first man left) Passengers reported them and the men were arrested in transit to their next flight however we don’t know what happened to the woman.

cabincrewlife

I Had a couple switch seats in the back part of the plane during boarding to be able to sit together. Later we found them in the lav together, I think she was giving him head. One of the other FA’s working the flight said “wait that’s not her husband, she came on with a different guy”. Turns out her husband was sitting in the front of the plane, totally oblivious.

jillianjo

My dad has been a long haul flight attendant for 24 years. He’s seen a lot of crazy shit but there is one that stuck with me. It’s 8 hours into his flight and they’ve turned the cabins lights down so everyone can get some sleep. He’s just chillin out having a chat to some mates in the galley when they hear a woman’s scream from down in economy. They go over there and this lady runs right to them and says she was asleep and woke to this random guy’s tongue in her mouth, so dad goes to where she was sitting and the guy gets really violent and they end up restraining him with zip ties. The worst part is the guy was a dentist. If he had the balls to do shit like that in a packed aircraft I can only imagine what he’d get up to with anesthetized patients. shudder

sekswizard

We were flying to IND one time. There was a firefighters “convention” being hosted there at the time, so most of the passengers on that flight were firefighters. I was working first class that day, and as we all know, the alcohol is complimentary in FC. Maaaaan, did these firefighters take advantage of that perk! One of the more swoled-up guys must have had 5 screwdrivers. When we got to Indy, he made sure to thank me on the way out. He pulled me into a biiig hug and started planting kisses all over my face! The rest of his tispy coworkers then proceeded to do the same on their way out.

Geoff_Kay

One day an extremely skinny passenger came on. Nothing terribly out of the ordinary. But seeing as it’s Iran, where those who can afford air travel are reasonably wealthy, it was quite odd to see someone who struggled to afford an over-exuberant diet. Due to a combination of pseudo-snobberry and genuine concern for a terror plot or something, my mum was told by the head of the flight crew to watch over him. Anyway, the passenger goes to the loo and doesn’t come out for twenty minutes. So the crew break the door and find said passenger not planting a bomb or sticking a finger down his throat, but sticking a heroin needle into himself. However, he had been struggling to find a vein and had resorted to sticking the needle into his penis…

SFSylvester

Drunk first class passenger traveling with his escort/mistress/something? decided to join the passengers in business class for a drink and started making out with a business class passenger in the bar area. Fights broke out and we had to separate the ‘couple’ for the remainder of the flight.

cabincrewlife

Flying into LaGuardia we get a lot of Hasidic Jews on our flights. A large Hasidic man was sitting in an aisle seat. He has a Yamaka, Tzitzit, and everything on. Mid flight he pulls out his laptop and starts watching porn. Not just any porn though, 70s big bush porn. No trying it hide it at all either. As I’m walking down the aisle I can see it from about 5 rows back. I stop, kneel down and tell him to put it away because everyone can see what he is watching, including children sitting near by. He gets all huffy and says, “It’s ok, I’m fast forwarding through all the bad parts”. I tell him I don’t care and he rolls his eyes and puts it away.

falas2010

I was on a flight to China.

One of the passengers up in business class decided to take advantage of the unlimited drinks he was offered before take off. He got plastered.

When the plane started to take off, he decided to take a sleeping pill to tide him over for the 14 hour flight we were about to endure.

Well – shortly after take off, the guy decided he needed to use the bathroom. He ventures back to where the stalls are – but shoots past them. He walks about 3 rows ahead of my row, whips out his member and pisses all over the row and the people in it.

They had to move the passengers, rip out the seats, and monitor the guy for the rest of the flight.

Bean44

A man had explosive diarrhea which flooded the lav and soaked into the carpet down the aisle. Had to divert because of the stench.

dudefaceguy

My mom has been a flight attendant for Air Canada for 43 years. I’ve heard lots of stories but one always stuck with me. Back in the 80’s when China was just opening up, my mom would get a lot of older folks from rural China on her flights from Beijing or Hong Kong. Apparently many of these people had never used a modern flush toilet before. On more than one occasion they would simply close the lid, position themselves on top of the toilet, and promptly defecate ON TOP of the toilet seat before leaving. Also, many of these folks would apparently just suck up huge gobs of phlegm and spit them right in the middle of the aisle. Luckily, things have gotten better in the intervening years…

ImpyKid

We had a pilot lose control of his bowels in the cockpit…..on two separate occasions. He was from there on known as “Duce”.

PilotTim

Flying to Vegas from Philly. Everyone boards. The couple at the front of the plane is wasted, which is cool, but suuuppper drunk. Just before the door closes she vomits all over herself and tries to say “it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” It’s a health thing so they bag up the seat and kick them off while the husband argues.

5 minutes later husband gets back on, no wife. Left his drunk wife at the gate and went to Vegas.

fairak17

My mom who is a flight attendant just told me this story on her trip where a women went into the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. Now you have to remember just how small and crammed these bathrooms on planes are, so anyway, a man then went up to the bathroom and thinking it was empty, opened the door and stepped inside. Now upon stepping inside he immediately saw her and tried to quickly move back out-except he had unknowingly stepped into her pants and hooked his foot in them-so when he jumped back out he dragged her by her pants into the aisle with him and then as she struggled to break free he fell also so they started rolling around on the floor fighting one another, her half naked trying to pull her pants up, him panicked and desperate to be free.

intreption

My mom has been a flight attendant for almost 30 years now, so she has her share of stories. The one that sticks out the most prominently in my mind, however, is this one…
A few years ago, her airline started allowing non service animals to travel, so long as they’re in carrying cases. Shortly after this became a thing, she had a woman on board who had a case with a cat in it. Despite being one of the first to board, she sat toward the back of the plane.
As more passengers boarded, people started to come up front to complain to my mom about a foul smell coming from the back lavatory. My mom went to go see what was wrong and everything was fine, but she could smell it too. At first, she dismissed it, sprayed some room spray, and went back to prepare for takeoff. As the final passengers boarded, more people came to complain about this awful smell that had yet to disappear.

My mom goes to the back of the plane and finds the source of the smell to be the woman’s cat carrier. It turns out there wasn’t just one cat in it. There were two. And one was dead and decomposing.

Needless to say, she was escorted off the plane with her cats in tow. How she even got past security is beyond me.

kokoSonnyJoon