Which South Side Serpent Should You Date?
Which South Side Serpent Should You Date?
Please describe your dream man:
Seeing as you're about to start dating a Serpent... it's time to choose your jacket:
If you had to do the Serpent dance, what song would you pick to do it to?
How would you dispose of a dead body?
IMPORTANT QUESTION: Where would your Serpent tattoo be located?
Pick a snake:
WE'RE HAVING A LOCK IN! Order a drink at the Whyte Wyrm:
Which Northsider would you most like to have a casual dalliance with?
Jughead Jones
Jughead Jones
Well, well, well, if it isn’t Jughead Jones, our current Serpent King. One thing’s for sure: with or without that title, Jug will treat you like the damn Queen you are. Whether you’re feeling down in the dumps or in actual mortal danger, this boi will be there (with his switchblade) no matter what.
FP Jones
FP Jones
Congrats fam… it looks like Daddy Serpent is all yours. You might have your work cut out for ya, what with his sketchy history and personal struggles, but FP Jones will MORE than make up for it in loyalty. This man will *literally* dispose of a body for you. He will *literally* risk his own life to protect you. ISSA WHOLE MAN!
Toni Topaz
Toni Topaz
Girl, you don’t need NO man when you’ve got Toni Topaz. She might be small, but she is feisty and she will kick anyone’s ass who tries it with you. She’ll even go toe to toe with your own disapproving mother should she have to. She’ll be your biggest cheerleader, no matter what. And if you ever go missing, at least you know that your girl will track you down and save your ass within 24 hours. 100% wifey material. 14/10, would marry.
Sweet Pea
Sweet Pea
He might look tough and intimidating on the outside, but on the inside? Sweet Pea is soft AF. He’s not afraid of fighting to defend your honour and will always go the extra mile to make sure you're happy. A worthy boyfriend to bring home to your parents. Your father will approve and your mother will love him. When's the wedding?
Fangs Fogarty
Fangs Fogarty
Fangs? You’re set for life. Word of warning though: If you’re ever face to face with danger, chances of Fangs running away and leaving you to deal with it alone are high. He doesn’t cope with those kinda situations but that’s fine… you’re in this together now and you can overcome it as the strong power couple we know you're gonna be.
Joaquin DeSantos
Joaquin DeSantos
He might be a little bit of an *absent* boyfriend, but when he IS around, Joaquin is gonna treat you like the goddamn BAE you are. You wanna go to the Drive-In? He'll take you to the Drive-In. You need to hide from the cops? He'll hide you from the cops. You need to skip town? He knows a place. He might have his eye on Kevin (sorry!), but you know what... it's better to have loved and lost Joaquin than to never have loved Joaquin at all.