Do you enjoy swimming?
Yes - it's my favorite leisure activity.
'Tis a decent endeavor for children, and I must admit I do indulge myself a brief jaunt in the lake from time to time.
Recreation? Harumph - I've no time for such trifles. Far too much to do!
It is dangerous to submerge one's head in water at anytime, for the hand of the oppressor may seize the opportunity to hold it there.
Do you support Obamacare?
That law is an outrage - a fundamental violation of the free market principles upon which our economy is based!
It is far too soon to say; what interests me is the intensity of the controversy.
Most certainly! It is the responsibility of the government to ensure the health and well-being of its citizens.
This laughably toothless legislation has accomplished little more than making a mockery of the process by which it was wrought.
What is your favorite television show?
American Horror Story
Diners, Drive-ins & Dives with Guy Fieri
The Colbert Report
Do you enjoy traveling abroad?
I love nothing more.
Why travel, when there is so much intrigue at home?
Travel terrifies me - I've had some bad experiences.
Yes, but only to monitor our nation's enemies.
Are you afraid of doctors?
Not really - though I believe traditional Western medicine has certain limitations.
Indeed - I rely on them, for I seem to be perpetually infirm.
What is there to fear? I am invincible!
It is difficult to imagine anything more foolish than willingly placing oneself in a position to be so easily dispatched.
Have you ever considered joining the military?
The only thing less trustworthy than the military is the government which commands it.
I have indeed - in fact, I fought bravely in defense of this great nation.
Perhaps, but only if there were no better option.
Let others defend our nations borders - I prefer to guard its soul.
Have you always known what you want to be when you grow up?
Absolutely - ever since I was a child.
I've always wanted to follow in my parents' footsteps.
My path has been varied, but I'm quite pleased with where I've ended up.
Only a fool believes himself to have any control over what he becomes.