Which Bourbon Are You?

You’re a morning person, a lark. You like getting started early and you don’t quit until the sun goes down. You think that’s a good thing, but remember that this is like in relation to being a bourbon. So that means you're a bourbon people drink in the morning. That's never a good morning. I don't even care if everyone is on vacation. Bourbon is great, but it's rarely "what's for breakfast". If you're drinking bourbon for breakfast, you're probably not looking forward to the rest of the day, and you're certainly not sipping that bourbon.

Listen, you sound classy. But, well... to be honest... deep down, you're anything but. Sure people may say “Hey you're a real Kentucky Gentleman.” Well, you should know that the Gentleman part of that is completely sarcastic. In fact, the only time people even refer to you as a gentleman is in a police report, “Well officer, then this GENTLEMAN cut me off.”

You’re everyone’s favorite grand-dad, even the grand-kids you’ve never met. You went missing for awhile back in 2013. You probably shouldn’t drive anymore but no one has told you that you can’t. We all want you to live at our house but couldn’t afford it.

You love your kids, and they love soccer. You're probably reading this on your phone while waiting for a table of 5 at O'Charley's. You used to like bourbon, but that’s how you ended up with all those kids, so now when you want a buzz, you just take a few swigs from that bottle of Children's NyQuil in the medicine cabinet, just to take the edge off.