People Reveal Which Part Of Their Personality They Fake and It's Astonishing

My ability to be a "lone wolf" type. I actually can't go very long without talking to someone and if specific people that I really like (crushes, close friends, etc) go too long without talking to me I get sad/depressed/jealous/paranoid. So in response to knowing that about myself, I try my best to act like I don't need people to be happy and that I'm doing fine without certain people. Occasionally that's true, but most of the time it's not. I still dream about random high school classmates, for Christ's sake. It's actually pretty bad. I'm also just mostly unpopular in my life and don't have that many friends, so the loneliness takes it's toll. I'm constantly in a battle of trying to get people to talk to me while also not being too clingy and it fucking sucks.

MufugginJellyfish

Basically all of it. I spent years struggling to even hold down a job due to anxiety related to autism. I then just decided to stop giving a fuck. I am essentially just blowing in the breeze during most social interactions.

For instance, my barber thinks i still work at a place i haven't worked at in years. He thinks i regularly travel, that i drive a car different than the one and i do and that i have kids. Why? because i just kept saying 'yes' to all of his questions.

I figured out that one of the main sources of anxiety i had was that i couldn't relate to people at all, especially a few years ago. I didn't have a job, i didn't have kids, i didn't have any music or TV interests, i didn't travel and so on. I played video games with my wife and went to work and was happy doing that.

So when it came to social interaction, all questions were dead ends. Did you see X? No. Have you been to X? No. Watch the X? No.

So i just started saying yes to everything. I noticed that people mainly want to talk about themselves (exhibit A is me right here), so if you just say yes, they'll literally go on a 10 minute speech about that topic and all you have to do is keep nodding or saying yes or really? , etc.

So yeah, my entire personality that i use for most people is fake. My real personality is typically only with my wife, parents and online - people that love me and won't judge me, or in the case of the internet, a place where being judged is literally worthless and harmless.

RakeNI

I feel like I'm constantly faking empathy. I mean, it's cathartic for people to talk about things, so I listen and try to make them feel as validated as possible. But honestly, my monkeysphere is tiny and I struggle to really care about your problems.

However, through this I've realised that people don't really care about my problems either. Which makes me feel like less of a dick. If you let someone rant until they feel better, without interjecting anything about yourself, chances are they'll just follow it up with a half-hearted "But what's up with yoooooou?" or just move on, because you've fulfilled your purpose as a sound board.

zelleandsuch

I only tolerate others to accomplish my goals and keep the peace for my own comfort.

This utilitaristic approach is something I have also been wondering about myself. I feel like I am friends or helpful with others so that I can later on achieve my own goals. It took me a while to realize that every relationship has an utiliaristic side on them and it's not wrong for it. By "others" I mean people outside my tight group of friends (with which utilitarism is still present). On the other hand I also do lots of stuff for which I get no benefit from but just because it "feels like it's the right thing to do" like for example asking the old lady if she needs help with carrying her grocery bags....

SpeakerOfDeath

The part that tells other people:

“I’ve had to learn to be a lot more strict with who I care about - if I kept giving and giving to people that didn’t appreciate it, it was going to kill me”

I still care a lot.

I want to keep helping people when they seem like they’re having a hard time. I want to believe you when you say you need that $5 for food, even though I’ve done it a hundred times before and watched you buy smokes or booze. I want to believe that you mean it when you say you promise, or that I’ll get it back without damage, or that you’ll be there.

I want to believe all that.

It actually hurts me to say no to you - but, fortunately, it’s a small hurt compared to what I feel when you show me that I was right to be worried.

Action-a-go-go-baby

Being friendly to acquaintances. I have enough friends. My neighbors are really chatty and I just want to get into my house and not talk to anyone. I have to talk to people all day at work when I'm finished I don't want to stand in front of my house and make awkward small talk for an hour. But I do anyway because I don't want to be rude.

pippoppippop

I guess my personality is different based on who I'm around, but generally I just try to show what people want to see and expect of me, and hide what I want to do and think since I dislike conflict and I don't like being bothered. I figured that way you go through life easily. I only show how I really am to very few people that I really trust and feel comfortable around (basically my girlfriend and 2-3 best friends).

I'm a really introverted person, who likes peace and quite, but even tho I act that I don't really care about most things and they don't phase me, I'm really easily hurt by most things and I'm really stressed about almost everything and assume worst case scenario which blocks me from doing some stuff.

Emperor_of_Dead

When people are obviously wrong, I fake an interest in what they’re saying and pretend to explore it together until they realize how wrong they are. I pretend to be disappointed but really that was my plan all along.

“What’s that you say? Children’s television show host Fred Rogers hid a violent and criminal past? Wow how fascinating. I’d love to learn more about that! Let’s look up some sources on that... aw damn looks like a debunked rumor. Oh that would’ve been so crazy!”

jackof47trades

The outgoing part. At parties I might appear to be the loudmouth comedian who has everyone in stitches, but that shit exhausts me. I'm the most introverted fucking person you'll ever meet. Could spend days in my room with no human interaction

maxford_23

Liking work. Everyone I know seems to like their job so I just go along and say that I kinda like it too. In reality I am the absolute laziest mofo on the planet and take every opportunity I get not to work. And it's not like I specifically don't like my job, I just really don't like work in general. I get zero enjoyment out of it no matter what.

Ryzasu

I know emotions of others very well, because I had to learn how to react to them. I have sociopathic tendencies (i can't comprehend grieve, jealousy and some other human emotions) so learing the proper reactions to other peoples feelings was crucial for me in my youth. I got in a lot of trouble when I laughed at a funeral.

Now I come across as very empathetic and caring because I "always know what to say in the moment" and how to make people feel better. But I don't really care about them feeling better, I just don't want to be caught not caring. All those answers are pretty much just aquired vocabulary and peoples thouights and feelings are much more predictable than they think.

My fiance knows about this and he is sometimes amazed how well I read people without feeling any form of sympathy, pity or else. For everyone else I'm that one, special friend they always turn to for support and advice and I leave them thinking I do care.

Siinee

Some of my friends go to me for advice thinking I'm this calm, collected, wise, third party advisor. Admittedly as much as I want to help them, I have my own biases and terrible advice to give. I still maintain this wise advisor image in front of them though, partially out of my own desire to help them, even if those desires might be wrong or misplaced sometimes.

BnElmo

Most of it tbh! I grew up in an emotionally toxic home and I learned to pickup on people’s moods as a defense mechanism. Now that I am an adult I use it somewhat to my advantage and can adapt my personality to basically get along with everyone. It’s something that I am trying to do less as it is very emotionally exhausting for me to be “on” for a whole work day, it was much easier in college when I didn’t see people as much.

To most people I am incredibly positive, chipper, outgoing, and funny. Honestly I’m pretty nihilistic, suffer from social anxiety, and I take most of my jokes from the off hand reddit comment. It makes dating difficult as people tend to fall in love with the first me that I present and not who I actually am.

Hdisknddmdmn

To clarify, it’s completely fake and doesn’t last. In the moment I’m having an internal panic attack thinking everyone knows I’m faking it. I worry they think I’m an idiot or something. As soon as I’m away from whatever situation I was in I have anxiety like none other, sometimes full blown panic attacks. Then I replay it in my head over and over. I’ve been trying to fake it til I make it my entire life, not sure how to make it. Maybe one of these days!

Youdontknowmedawg

Politeness. I'm not an asshole, but sometimes I really hate the pleasantries that are expected on a daily basis, specifically the work place. Also, I feel like I act more confident and aggressive than I actually am because I work in a male dominant field and I don't want to be like looked down on.

nicki1way

Being pleasant. Life has made me a bitter asshole and I have to force myself to be nice. On the inside I usually want to scream at most people to fuck off.

pm__me__yiff

I can kind of identity with this. For me, it's not so much that I don't like you, it's that I actually just want to be left alone to do my own thing. The older I get, the more draining it's becoming for me to deal with other people and do anything not in my own time and my own way. These days I don't get enough sleep because of it because I stay up until ungodly hours of the morning, cherishing every second of sweet alone time that I have.

Zero22xx

I pretend I'm clueless a lot. It could be about work, or even just about something in life. You learn a lot about the person if you act clueless in something you're quite familiar with and they're trying to BS you with what they 'know' very little about. Likewise, you can also digest some great information about their perspective on the topic and actually learn a tip or two if they are more knowledgeable and experienced than you.

The latter is the main reason why I act this way and it's actually amazing how much I have learned since then. It really is a win win. You'll be able to identify quickly if you think this person will make a good or bad impact in your life.

therobino

I've got an entire customer service personality that's fake.

I work in customer service, it’s gotten to the point where out of I habit I’ll say “Have a good day!” to friends and family in a weird and almost fake tone.

sleepyhollow_101

My customer service personality is folksy midwestern housewife who says things like, "You folks have a good day now, okay?" midwestern accent and all. I don't know why. I don't have a midwestern accent normally. But my regular voice is super monotone and not that warm so I had to do something.

cn23di

the most upsetting part of "customer service persona" is that even when you no longer work in customer service, you'll find yourself disassociating and using it when you're dealing with anyone who wants something/is rude or pushy.
A friend commented on this the other day when a rude lady asked for something and i completely switched tone of voice and turned into a capitulating, apologizing, helpful robot. The lady left happy but boy, all those hours fantasizing about "what i'll do to rude people when i'm not on the clock!!" are washed away bc i literally cannot handle conflict without my Customer Service Personality (tm)

fillifilla

I am one of the most shy people you will ever meet. I switched grocery stores because the cashiers started to recognize me and wanted to chit-chat. I didn’t make 1 friend in college because I kept to myself. However, I am very successful at work because I know that if I don’t put myself out there and act confident, I won’t advance. I’m more scared of being destitute than I am shy I guess. This extends to my relationships because I’m married (she asked me out though) and have a very tight knit group of friends. There are certain things you just have to do.

ObsidianBlackbird666

I literally spend so much time on my own lately that I feel as though my whole personality is fake when I have to interact with others

ChuckBass11

Yea, I feel that way sometimes too. Good to see people that share these sorts of weird things with me.

TheGamingTyrant

This. I sometimes feel as if I have to have these two personalities which is so tiring sometimes. There are times when I don't know if I am lying to myself or others. Even my girlfriend and my parents have a different perception of who I am because I feel I have to be my best self in front of them, it is so exhausting and makes me wanna run away and start new

bhetatman

Yup, this comment is me, In 2 months I am moving to my gf and don't know what will I do when I get home because I got so used to my own rhytm, come home, eat when I want and what I want, play games, go to sleep, repeat, I even hate to go out with friends because that means shorter me time and I have to actually move. And than someone says: why are you so sad? I am not sad ffs I am silent because I like being useless in my free time.

System666Crash