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21 Problems All Scots Recognise When Going Abroad

What do you mean you don't have Irn Bru?

Louise James
Created by Louise James
On Oct 28, 2015
1

Trying to book the tickets over the phone, only to be hit with a voice recognition system that does not understand you.

"I'm sorry, we didn't get that," a hundred times over is really frustrating.

2

Trying to order a roll and square sausage and being met with really confused looks.

"Sausage isn't square?"

3

Or worse, when you try and order a tattie scone with your breakfast.

Don't they have any food over here?

4

Realising no one understands you – not even a little – and continuously asks you to repeat yourself until they just nod, smile, and pretend they understood.

You're really just starting to wish no one would talk to you and save you the hassle.

5

Being asked to say specific words that sound funny to other people – like 'character' and 'murder'.

You're starting to develop a serious complex here.

6

Trailing around all the shops trying to find somewhere that sells Irn Bru.

They've never even heard of it, let alone selling it.

7

Being mistaken for Irish, Welsh, English – basically every nationality but your own.

And finding yourself growing uncharacteristically patriotic because of it.

8

Feeling the need to take a jacket with you everywhere – even though it's July and you're in Spain.

You're too used to unpredictable weather and you're always prepared for it.

9

Forgetting that you can buy alcohol after 10 PM, and ending up sitting in the hotel sadly because you missed the cut-off.

You're so conditioned by the alcohol ban in your own country.

10

Using the word 'juice' freely for all drinkable liquids and having people correct you.

What do you mean, diet coke isn't juice? You drink it, don't you?

11

The television is supposed to have British channels but it only has ITV – not STV.

Still Game is on tonight and you didn't bring your laptop...

12

When you get a tan and suddenly all your foundation is instantly too light.

You're so used to never being able to get a tan in Scotland that you didn't prepare for this eventuality.

13

Or worse – when your skin can't handle the heat and you just burn.

No one will ever understand the pain of a Scot frazzling in the heat.

14

Wanting a Tunnock's Teacake after your meal and being unable to find an acceptable alternative.

A mint chocolate is definitely not it.

15

Being so used to small towns that you're constantly getting lost when staying in a city.

Look, how are you meant to navigate? You're not used to this.

16

Asking someone where the 'bin' is and engaging in a ten minute battle to find a common word for it that you both use.

The bin? The rubbish? The place I can dump this empty can?

17

Being called 'Scotch'.

Thanks, but it's actually 'Scottish' – you aren't a drink.

18

Trying to get through passport control and watching the border official getting suspicious because he can't understand the answers to his questions.

To the point where you end up shouting at him through the glass...

19

People assuming you know everyone else in Scotland because it's such a small country.

"Oh, I have a friend in Scotland! Do you know her?" No, no I don't.

20

Meeting those annoying people on holiday who want to come and stay with you sometime because Scotland is so beautiful and they have to see it.

I mean, they were drunk when they said it – you hope they don't remember in the morning.

21

Automatically having to bond with the other Scots you meet – even if you don't like them.

Scots latch onto each other abroad – you were here to get AWAY from people.

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